Just Try
by RidiculousTiming
Summary: AU/ Emily starts at Roundview later than Katie and is new to the whole college life. When she meets Naomi, she can't help but feel attracted and in turn, Naomi can't help but want to let Emily in despite the walls she built to keep everyone out. Naomily.
1. Emily: Introductions

**Title: ** Just Try  
**Summary**: Emily starts a new college a little late in the year, but with Katie having already established friends there, it makes it a lot easier for Emily. To a certain extent. She can't help but feel attracted to Naomi and, in turn, Naomi can't help but let Emily in despite the numerous walls she built to stop anyone getting so close. Naomily, of course.  
**Rating: **Nothing saucy, sowwwwy**!  
Disclaimer****:** I don't, and never will, own Skins.

**The story starts of slow, but try it, yeah? :D**

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'_Hold off telling them you're gay, yeah? For, like, ever okay?"_

That's how my sister greeted me this morning. No 'good morning', no 'you excited for your first day?', just more and more humiliating comments by Katie.  
It wasn't so much humiliating because I was gay, but more because she couldn't even accept me. She made me make her a promise when we were 13; basically it was that I had to tell her everything, simple as. Up until I was 16, I never had anything to tell her anyone. I never got boyfriends, I never fucked anyone in the school toilets, I just breathed basically. Then I hit 16 and I had the biggest fucking secret ever to tell anyone. I didn't have a best friend to tell, I had hardly any friends anyway, so I thought back to when Katie and I were 13 and I thought about how she was my sister and that she'd have to accept me and even hopefully support me. I did exactly that, told her, and all I got back was a blank stare. Then anger. Then she pretended like I never told her.  
So much for fucking support.

"Are you ready Ems?" Katie came walking in wearing her usual slutty attire for college.

She glanced down at what I was wearing, "You're going like that? On your first day?"

I looked at what I was wearing, it didn't look that bad. "Yeah, why what's wrong?"

"It's fucking boring."

Never one to sugar coat.

"Too late to get changed now anyway, Danny's outside."

She pushed past me and ran down the stairs giggling like a fucking idiot. I got my bag and gave myself one last look in the mirror. It didn't matter, did it? It's not like I have anyone to impress.

**

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**

"See you later babe," Danny did his usual routine of snogging the face of Katie while I sat in the back. This time though, I didn't have to endure the extra 5 minute car ride while he would drop me off at my own college.

I got out hastily and waited for Katie outside of the car for once. I took this time to look at the outside of the college. I'd seen it loads of times, but the thought of it actually being my college made it seem a little different. A little scarier.

"Bye Danny babe!"

Finally they stopped. They were always at it, like fucking rabbits.

"Ready Ems?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I guess so."

She headed towards the entrance, smiling and waving as she did so. The fact she was popular only made this even more incredibly awkward and scary as fuck.

"Hurry the fuck up Emily."

I picked up my pace until I was just behind her, following her as she took corners and standing awkwardly when she took the time to flirt with passing people. Finally she stopped and turned to me.

"Well the office is around here somewhere. Go get your schedule and shit. I have to go to a lesson now, but I'll text you once I'm out yeah?"

I actually felt my mouth drop a little. She fucking leaves me in the middle of _her _fucking college? The bitch. At least she left me in the general area of it, but still. I sighed and started looking around, realising that there was absolutely no one around. I was stranded in this fucking shit hole with no clue as to where the office was, where my lessons were, or where the fuck I was.

"Thanks Katie, thanks a fucking bunch."

"Okay, you're either talking to yourself in third person, or you're not Katie?"

I spun around so fucking quickly, I actually twisted my ankle. "W-what?"

The person in front of me was a tall, peroxide blonde girl. She had piercing blue eyes which were sporting raised eyebrows in my direction. She had the classic beauty of a 50s film star, and I couldn't help but stare.

"You're definitely not Katie."

I shook my head quickly, "No, I'm her twin."

The blonde nodded, but it was obvious she didn't care too much. "I assumed."

I didn't know what to say. She was fucking gorgeous and I was acting like a total idiot.

"I'll see you around then," Was all she said as she turned passed me.

"W-wait, uhm, do you know the way to the office?"

She turned around to me with a confused, "The office?"

I glanced around a bit, unsure why she had asked it like I was speaking a different language. "Yeah... the office? Where I can get my schedule?"

"The office isn't on this side of the building?" She asked it rather than said it.

I shook my head, "But Katie said it was around here?"

The blonde laughed, "I'm afraid not."

"The fucking bitch," I scrunched my hands tightly, trying to relieve at least a bit of anger. "It's no surprise she'd do this, she always thinking about her fucking self."

Again, the blonde raised her eyebrows and nodded slowly. It was becoming painfully obvious she just didn't care. "Right, well the office is back that way," She tilted her head in the direction, "If you just walk straight, you'll get to it at some point."

And with that, she continued the way she was first heading.

A bitch, but fuck she was beautiful.

**

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**

"Emily!"

I spotted Katie waving me over to where she was sitting. It was already lunch time, thank God. I didn't actually mind my first lesson, it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, but I was glad for lunch. I gave a shy smile, still feeling new to the whole change from my old college to here.

"So you found the office alright?"

I sat down with my tray of food and nodded, I didn't bother starting an argument with her about the whole thing.

"The others will be here soon I suppose. Don't act like too much of a tit yeah?"

I'm never a tit anyway.

"Ignore some of them as well. Like Cook, he's a fucking sex machine. He'll say anything to get into your pants. Naomi too, she's just a bitch. Then there's JJ, he's just fucking mental. The others are alright. Effy's really quiet, mysterious, so don't take it personal. Sometimes she doesn't sit with us though; her and Naomi sometimes go off on their own. I reckon they're lezzers."

After saying that, she eyed me cautiously, "But they aren't."

I scowled, "I don't fuck everyone that's gay!"

Before she could reply, a tray was slammed down on the table, less in anger and more obnoxiousness.

I looked up to see a boy with messy brown hair and quite messy clothing. He had an earring and had a somewhat thuggish face. It started off as a small grin at first, but as he looked between Katie and me, it grew.

"Fuck. Me. Twins! This is fucking brilliant!"

He slammed his hand down on the table and began to laugh loudly. "Oh I didn't expect you to have a twin!" He took his seat and continued to look between the two of us, "So, how about it girls? I've never had twins."

Katie looked disgusted, "And you're still not having twins. Fuck off Cook."

Cook looked to me, "What about you?" He raised his eyebrows in what I assumed was meant to be seduction.

"No, I'm g-" Something told me I shouldn't finish that sentence. Possibly Katie's stern look in my direction. "I'm alright thanks."

He just shrugged, "You'll come around to the idea." He looked around, still grinning. He obviously found he was looking for because he began to wave at two boys.

One of them had tanned skin and looked awfully like a model. It was bizarre seeing someone so good looking just walking over to you. As for the other boy, he looked so innocent and young it was cute. His mop of hair only added to the cuteness, and once he smiled, his braces only confirmed my thoughts that he had to be about 10 years old.

"Alright Freds, JJ! Seen this? Katie has a fucking twin!"

The two boys looked to me. Freddie gave a small smile and nod while JJ grinned. They both took their seats and while the boy referred to as Freddie began to talk to Cook and Katie, the JJ boy didn't take his eyes of me. It was even worse since he was sitting directly opposite me.

I met his eyes and looked away awkwardly. Why was he staring? "Uhm, hello?"

He slightly froze, "Oh sorry, was I staring? Freddie says I always stare at people I think are beautiful. Shit, I didn't mean to... I mean, you are beautiful, but it's just it must be uncomfortable someone telling you you're beautiful, right?"

What was he going on about?

"I get uncomfortable when people call me cute but that's because it's patronising being called cute. I'm 16, I'm not cute, I should be fucking sexy or something. That's what all the girl say to Cook or Freddie."

JJ, _'he's just fucking mental_'.

"Did you know there's about a 1 in 33 chance of someone giving birth to more than one baby at a time? But as you get older, it actually increases? Between 25 and 29, there's a 3%, then at 30-34 it's 4% and almost 5% between 35 and 39. Other things like race and genes affect if you can have twins too."

Katie was right. I just sat and stared at him while he said all this. What did it fucking matter to me? I looked at Katie for some help, but she was in conversation, not even aware of this awkward bomb that had been placed in front of me.  
He seemed like an awfully sweet person, but I could feel myself getting annoyed. The thing that bothered me about me getting annoyed was that I wasn't going to do anything. Even if someone kicked the chair from beneath me, I'd probably just got bright red and say 'accidents happen'. I needed saving from this.

"JJ, I've got that plane model you wanted in my locker."

He snapped away from me with a grin and looked up at who had spoken to him, "Thanks Naomi."

It was the girl that had somewhat helped me find the office this morning, and the one Katie had warned me about.

She looked at me with a smirk and nodded, "Find the office okay?"

She took the seat beside JJ, diagonal of me. I followed her with my eyes as she did this and nodded, "Yeah, it wasn't too hard."

JJ looked to Naomi, "You've already met... uhm."

Naomi gave him an amused smile, "I don't know her name either."

"Emily."

"Emily. You've already met Emily?"

Naomi nodded, "This morning."

Katie perked up and turned to Naomi who was beside her. "You met Emily this morning? Why?" She snapped at the blonde.

"Fuckin' hell, I didn't go out searching for her. She was just there."

I noticed there was some mutual hatred between the two.

"Well stay the fuck away from her!"

Naomi looked at me and rolled her eyes, and decided to ignore Katie much to my amusement. "So why are you starting today? It's the last day before a 2 week holiday off school?"

It was stupid and absurd and completely my mum's idea.

"I don't know. My mum already had it set for me to come today and she refused to change her mind."

Naomi nodded, "Fair enough."

Before I could carry on the conversation, Cook shouted over everyone as they too tried to talk to one another.

"Alright ladies, first party to hit this holiday? Anyone?"

Everyone looked at Cook and shrugged. He looked confused.

"Wait, none of you pussies have any parties?"

"Not like you've got one either," Naomi said.

Freddie cleared his threat, "Some posh girl from my old school is having a party tonight. I don't know if it'll be good though."

Cook grinned, "We'll make it good! Nice one Freddie! So whose turn is it to supply?"

What did he mean supply?

Naomi raised her hand, "Mine."

"Thank fuck! You're the only one that does a decent job!"

JJ nodded his head, "He's right. It's not surprising though, considering you know probably the whole population of Bristol."

"Sorted then. See you girls later."

One by one, everyone left the table until it was just me.

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**Boring start I know, but I promise it gets better.**


	2. Emily: Parties

"Excited for your first proper party Ems?"

"This isn't my first proper party!"

Katie turned to me with a patronising smile, "James' 10th birthday doesn't count."

Like fuck it doesn't.  
Despite my sisters comments that remind me of just how terrible my social life is and was, I was excited for this. You always hear about those incredible parties and shit don't you? Yeah well I've never actually been to one.

"Hurry up then."

I followed her quickly out the door, not forgetting to check I had everything. _Keys, money that should be it_.

"So where is this?"

Katie shrugged, "Freddie said to meet him at the Richmond."

I nodded, oblivious of where that was. It turned out to be mere minutes away from our house much to my embarrassment. I saw all of them outside, waiting for Katie and me, or maybe just Katie.

"Alright twins, we're just waiting for Naomi now."

Katie rolled her eyes, "Trust her to be late."

For the first time I heard, who I supposed was Effy, speak. "She said this is the best supply she's ever gotten, that's probably why it's taking so long."

Cook grinned, "Well fucking in Naomikins!"

I had forgotten to ask Katie what they meant by supply, but Freddie answered it for me..

"I hope she got good weed. I need a decent spliff."

Drugs. I got it.

JJ perked up and waved at someone, "There she is."

Everyone turned around to see Naomi. She was casually dressed in jeans, a top and cardigan, the counter of both Effy and Katie and definitely the opposite of another blonde girl I had not yet been introduced to.

"Oh wizzer Naomi! Now we can go to this party! I've heard the house is a right big'un, isn't it Thomas?"

"Yes, Panda."

I wanted to laugh. The oddly dressed and colourful girl was called Panda. How absurd. I assumed it was a nickname of some sort.

I looked back to Naomi who was now in front of us. 'Panda' and Thomas had begun walking and Katie had sparked conversation with Freddie. All that was left was me, Cook, JJ, Effy and Naomi.

"So what did you get Nai?"

Naomi opened her bag and revealed a massive of heap of what I couldn't name. I spotted weed, but the rest was new to me. It must have been good stuff though because Cook began to jump up and down.

"You are the fucking best Naomi, y'know that?!"

He bounced off to Freddie and Katie, JJ following behind. Effy watched them before looking at me with a smirk, "Have you ever been to a party like this? Had drugs? You seem like you haven't."

"I do?" Of course I did.

"Yes," Effy just nodded.

I looked to Naomi who had lit a cigarette. She glanced at me and smiled before looking back ahead of her.

I think my heart actually stopped for a second. I don't care how fucking stupid that sounds, but I think it actually did.

**

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**

"Here it is."

Everyone looked up. Fuck, it was huge.

Naomi laughed, "Are you kidding me? I thought you meant posh like... takin' the piss. Not actual posh. These aren't going to want any drugs for fucks sake."

Cook shook his head, "Nah, nah! Have faith babe. This is gonna be fuckin' ace."

"I'm going to have to agree with Naomi, Cook. Statistics show that people of a higher class are far more likely to be, as you call it, 'straight edge'."

I smiled at JJ, his facts were starting to amuse me. I liked him.

"Fuck off GayJay, we'll do fine!"

Cook was the first to walk up the giant front garden as we all followed him.

Naomi ended up beside me. "Trust Freddie to get us a 90210 party."

I laughed, "It might be good?"

She looked at me and shrugged, "It might be, especially if you get pissed. Doesn't matter if there's a load of posh twats then."

She walked past me and entered the house. I followed and looked around. The house looked even bigger inside than outside. There were already numerous people too, and the music was already loud. If this wasn't a good party, I didn't know what was. Well, I really didn't.

"Ems, come over here!"

I saw Katie waving me over, with everyone in one corner looking over Naomi's bag.

"I reckon, we keep a third, sell the rest."

Cook shook his head, "A half for us, we need as much as we can."

I watched as they negotiated, fascinated by how much thought had to go into it.

Naomi spoke up, "I was thinking about a third for us in the weed and the rest to sell, then we sell the pills off and keep what's left."

"Agreed then."

It was handed round until it got to me. I took it cautiously. Fuck I didn't know what to do! "What do I do...?" I mumbled to myself.

Naomi looked at me amused, she had obviously been the only one to have heard my quiet whisper of a question. Instead of outing me and laughing aloud like I had expected, she just looked down and shook her head, laughing to herself.

Everyone seemed to disappear at once, leaving me and Naomi behind. I looked to her shyly, "So what do I do?"

She smirked and then pulled something from her bag. I inspected and saw it was two joints. "We light these and worry about the rest later."

She lit one, handed it to me and lit the other, keeping it to herself. She noticed my hesitation and watched closely as I inched it closer to my mouth.

"It's not going to kill you, just try."

I did as she said and inhaled it, erupting into a couching fit the second I took it out my mouth. "Fuck me!"

She lightly tapped me on the back, "Not tonight dear. I'll see you around."

I looked up but she had already left the room.

What was I meant to do with this fucking weed?

**

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**

"Emily! Come over here!"

I didn't know where the voice had come from, but with a quick glance around, I saw Panda sitting with Effy, so I went over.

"Hey."

Effy gave me a nod while Panda grinned at me.

"How much have you sold? I've sold a wizzer amount! Haven't I, Ef?"

Effy smiled, "Yes you have Pandora."

Pandora, Panda. I see now.

"Uhm, I haven't sold any... I don't know how to... I mean, I do, I don't know how much."

Pandora nodded, "I remember when Effy first asked me to do this. I didn't know either, but then she told me, didn't you?"

Effy nodded again and then looked to me, "Give me your stuff. I'll sell it."

I sighed with relief, "Oh thank god. I don't know what to do."

I handed it to her and then sat beside her on the sofa while Pandora remained in the chair opposite us.

It wasn't until I saw Effy light a joint that I stopped looking at my hands. She looked at me and smirked, "You ever tried one?"

I nodded, "Earlier on. Naomi gave me one."

"Ah," She leaned back, "She must really like you then."

I could feel my cheeks burning up, "Why?"

"First time I met her, I asked for a smoke of her spliff, she told me to fuck off."

I smiled, hoping it came off as amusement rather than pride, which was really while I was smiling.

She looked at me then averted her eyes to past me, squinting as she looked at someone or something. I turned in my place and followed her eye line. I wished I hadn't.  
There was a girl, only slightly taller than me, with dark hair thoroughly kissing Naomi. I didn't understand why, but I felt something twist in me. I winced and redirected my attention to the drink on the table in front of me.

I felt Effy's eyes on me as I did this, but ignored her.

"She's worse than you Ef! I've never kissed a girl y'know. It's mad that she likes it both ways, I couldn't imagine anyone better than Thomo, let alone a girl."

I didn't want to, but my eyes looked again. They were both gone. Ever seen a spider and then when you look away a second, it's gone? You know that feeling you get of both nerves and anger as you wonder why you even looked away? I feel that right now. Minus the want to kill Naomi. Maybe I should see the brighter side of this. Pandora had said Naomi liked it 'both ways'. That was good, right?

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**Again, not completely interesting, but lucky for you I am updating everyday! ;D It won't be long until it gets good, promise.**


	3. Emily: Early Mornings

I don't quite remember what happened last night after seeing Naomi with that girl. I remembered Effy handing me her joint and then Cook handing me a drink, then JJ sitting with me and talking about aeroplanes and after that, my mind blanks.

Despite being unaware of my surrounding, I pushed myself off the sofa I'd slept the night on and looked around at everyone. Nearly everyone I saw was an unfamiliar face to me, it was only when I noticed Effy pulling her boots on that I remembered who I'd actually come with.

"Morning," I said to her.

She turned to me and smirked, "Morning. How was your first party then?"

I shrugged, "I don't remember much of it."

"Get used to that."

I nodded and watched as she took her dress off and put it inside out. She proceeded to shake a sleeping Pandora until she too woke up.

"Emily, go get everyone else."

I got up and looked around the house, waking people as I went along. It was obvious that Cook wasn't a morning person.

"Fuck off! It's too fucking early you cunt!"

It wasn't until I told him it was me that he opened his eyes, "Oh, thought it was me mum."

I ventured into the kitchen where I saw JJ making a sandwich, "Morning Emily."

"Morning JJ."

"Would you like a sandwich?" He smiled to me.

I shook my head, "No, I'm alright thanks. Effy's asked me to wake everyone up."

"Ah, I see. I saw Katie upstairs," He looked over me a waved at someone, "And Freddie's already up it seems."

I turned around and saw a groggy Freddie walking into the kitchen, "Alright JJ, Ems. Mind making me one mate?"

JJ nodded enthusiastically. I didn't quite know if he was a pushover or genuinely happy to do things for Freddie and Cook and everyone else.

I left and went upstairs to look for Katie. There was a fucking load of people here. I felt sorry for whoever's house it was, not only because of the masses of people sleeping anywhere and everywhere but also because of the food on the wall, smashed bottles and various other destroyed objects. It proved to be an easier task than I thought finding Katie. She was laying asleep right beside the top of the stairs. Very classy.

"Katie, Katie wake up," I shook her lightly.

"Fuck off," She wacked my hand away.

I was used to this and since she was my sister, I was comfortable taking drastic measures. I kicked her lightly and began clapping my hands down her ear.

"Wake up!"

She pushed up her upper half and squinted at me, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Effy told me to get everyone."

She groaned and stood up. "My head is fucking banging."

So was my mine come to think of it. I watched as Katie walked down the stairs, swaying slightly, and decided to start looking for Naomi.

I was worried that I would find her with someone, but knew I couldn't just leave her. Despite my determination to find her, it proved to be harder than I thought. I couldn't find her at all.

"I can't find Naomi," I told Effy once I was back in the living room area where I had slept.

She shrugged, "Never mind then. Let's get going."

"Don't you want to know where she is?"

"I doubted she was here anyway. She doesn't usually stick around for the night."

**

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**

Once me and Katie had gotten home, I had taken to having a quick shower and freshening myself up while Katie had gone for the sleep all day approach.

_What to do now_. I couldn't just stay in - I was way too awake. I'd already taken excessive amounts of paracetamol to help my headache and I didn't really want to spend my day watching Top Gear either. It was worth warming myself up though, so a hot drink was in order.

I checked the cupboard and noticed a lack of teabags and coffee. _Fuck it. _To the cafe I go. At least that's somewhere/

It was only until I had closed the door that I realised I not only lacked house keys, but also an umbrella and the rain that was pouring down was the only thing that made me wish I had remembered one.

I went for the half run, half walk approach to getting to the cafe, followed by the unintended grand entrance of bursting through the door. Suave Emily, very suave.

Everyone's eyes were on me save for one persons who I couldn't help but recognise by their hair colour.

"Naomi, hey."

Her eyes ended up looking at me and she smiled, "Hey."

She shuffled along from sitting in the centre of the two seat sofa, allowing me to join her at the table she had.

I watched as she looked between text books and the paper she was writing on. I had no idea what she was doing, but it looked boring to say the least.

"Coursework," was all she said as she began writing on the paper.

"Hasn't school finished?"

She looked up and smirked, "There are perks to have your mum going out with your teacher."

I grinned stupidly, "I see."

She went back to doing her work and while I realised she probably didn't want me talking to her, I couldn't help myself.

"So you left pretty early this morning."

She nodded, but kept her head down, "I needed to get this done. Him and my mum are going on holiday in a couple days. If I don't get it done now, I never will."

She was pretty, she was cool, she liked girls and still did her work. Why have I only just met her?

"Want a drink? Emily?"

I hadn't noticed that she had stood up.

"Oh! Uhm, what?"

She smirked, "I'll get you a coffee."

She came back after a few minutes holding two coffee mugs and places one in front of me. I thanked her and took to sipping it lightly. It was too hot.

"I'm so fucking bored of this now. I have a love hate relationship with politics. I really do."

"Can I read what you've done once you've finished?"

She shrugged, "Yeah sure. I'm done now anyway." She handed me the pile of sheets and began cleaning up the books she had out in front of her.

It was amazing what she had written, for two reasons really; one being that I hadn't expected her to be intelligent. It was a horrible first opinion to have, but it was one I had based on the college and that she was friends with Katie. The second reason was clearly from the way she had gone about it. She argued her point well and I couldn't help but agree with her despite my lack of knowledge on politics. Maybe I was biased though.

"It's really, really good."

She looked at me, "You think?"

"Yeah, I actually do."

She smiled, "Here's hoping to an A then!"

We fell into a comfortable silence after that, both drinking our coffees now and again. I started to feel awkward though and the same as the first day I met her, she was still comfortable.

I bit my lip as I wondered whether to ask about the party the night before.

"So, uhm, did you have fun at the party?"

She took a final sip of her drink before placing it on the table. She shrugged and coughed. "It was okay. Boring though. What about you? It was your first proper party wasn't it?"

I wish people would stop saying it was my first party. It was, but still.

"It was... eventful."

"You don't remember do you?" She asked, amused.

I laughed, "No... Not really."

**

* * *

**

"It's shit when it rains. There's fuck all to do."

We were both standing under the small part of the cafe that covered us outside as Naomi lit a cigarette. I watched her as she let out the first thing wisp of smoke from her lips. She offered me one but I declined. I never was much of a smoker.

"I better go give this to Kieran before he fucks off."

"Oh right, bye..." I bit my lip as I watched her put her umbrella up.

Before walking away, she looked me up and down. I didn't know what she was doing until she handed me the umbrella she was holding.

"I can see you came unprepared. I'm sure I'll see you later today, give it to me then."

She didn't give me time to insist she take it, she had already began walking away.

* * *

** R&R!**

**Oh yeah! FYI! At the start of chapters you'll see that it says 'Emily:____', that's because that's who's POV it is in. Most will be in Emily's, but there will be Naomi POV chapters and maybe a few others?**


	4. Emily: Bad Blood

I've been to a party, and now I was going to my first club. I was thrilled for a few reasons because of this. Not only was my social life taking a turn, and in a good way, I was also going to see Naomi again. Admittedly, I felt like a 10 year old as I waited for Katie to finish getting ready, but I wanted her to hurry the fuck up so I could see Naomi. I would have shouted her to hurry up, but she would only ask why and then I would freeze up and turn bright red.

"Alright Ems, how do I look?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Katie. She looked like a slut, as per usual. "You look nice."

She, in turn, looked to me, "Yeah, uhm, you look alright."

I didn't ask for your fucking opinion.

"Are we going now?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I've just got to find my keys."

"I've got them."

**

* * *

**

"Will we actually get in?"

Katie mumbled back, "Not if you ask that aloud, no."

I kept my mouth shut after that. It was obvious I wasn't going to be of any use in this situation.

"We'll get in fine. Everyone is already inside."

Once we got to the front we saw Freddie waiting for us. He nodded us over and said something to the guard at the door. I don't know what he said, but he let us in without question.

"Nice one Freddie."

He nodded and led us over to where everyone else was. I subconsciously glanced around, looking for blonde hair. I didn't see any though. I bit my bottom lip and couldn't help but feel my thrill deteriorating.

"Alright, I got the drinks now could you help me for fucks sake."

I turneded around and saw Naomi carrying at least 6 drinks so I scuttled over to help. She smiled appreciatively.

"At least someone around here isn't a complete cunt."

People started taking their drinks from me one by one until all I had left was a shot. I didn't know whether it was mine to have, or someone had just left it for me to hold. Fuck, do I just down it?

Naomi looked at the shot then to me, "Well? Go on."

I downed it and winced, "God what is that?"

She laughed, "Pure vodka."

I'd never had pure vodka. Sure, I'd had shots, just never plain vodka. Never again.

"Another?" Naomi asked.

"Yeah, okay," I answered.

What happened to 'never again'?

She came back with two shots and handed me one, "Don't worry. It's a mint shot. Not as strong."

Thank god.

I downed and winced and noticed the lack of familiar faces around me apart from Naomi. I didn't know for how long it had just been the two of us, but I was grateful.

"So Emily, tell me a bit about yourself."

"What?"

She sat down at one of the seats by the bar so I followed suit.

"You know like... why you left your old college for example?"

It was bound to be asked at some point. It wasn't that I didn't know the answer, just more; I didn't know who to tell the answer to. I just shrugged.

She raised an eyebrow, "Stimulating conversation."

I felt bad for not telling her.

"Different question then. What's your favourite day of the week?"

I laughed from the absurdity of the question. "My favourite day of the week?"

She shrugged and sipped at her drink, "At least you'll answer that one? So?"

"Friday I think."

"Why's that?" She asked, looking around the club.

"It's a good day I suppose. You don't have Sunday to worry about, or Monday. What about you?"

She nodded at my answer and then began to think of her own. "Wednesday."

"Why?"

"I finish college early that day. Every Wednesday I go up to Trinity park and just smoke. Sounds unhealthy and antisocial, but I like it."

It sounded fine to me.

"I'm gonna go get a drink and have a bit of fun. Care to join?"

I shook my head, "No, I'll just stay here."

She left me by myself and it was only once she left I realised what her question could have been asking. _Did I just fucking give up the chance to have 'a bit of fun' with Naomi? I bet she didn't even mean it like that._ I sighed. I would need a cold shower if I didn't calm down.

**

* * *

**

I hadn't seen anyone in the 30 minutes I had been sitting alone. Admittedly, I spotted JJ leaving with Freddie, but It wasn't like they spoke to me. Effy had been missing the entire night, so had Cook actually. Katie I'd spotted a few times dancing with boys, but even she had gone out of my sight. Maybe they were all in sight and it was only because my eyes were scanning for Naomi that they appeared to be gone.

I sighed and swivelled the stool I was sitting on to face the bar. I noticed that my drink had finished and so looked out for a bar tender. I noticed him at the other end and checked to see who he was serving. Fuck.

The girls eyes locked with mine and a smirk planted their face. I was fucking in for it now.

"Shit, shit, shit."

Do I run, do I keep my head down? Do I just leave completely? I took to keeping my head down, realising I had no time and nowhere to go.

"Well if it isn't our favourite dyke, Emily."

I felt my cheeks burning up and my eyes stinging. It didn't matter what they said. I just had to ignore them, keep my head down, pretend nothing was happening.

"Turn the fuck around, cunt."

Don't.

I heard laughing, "She's actually scared shitless."

"Oh Jess, you're so funny!"

She was with other people.

"Come on Ems, don't you want to fuck us with your great strap on. We heard all about that at college. Is that why you left?"

I left because you were all fucking lying.

"Look at me while I talk to you," A hand grabbed my shoulder and I was spun around on my seat. I looked around at the people in the club, but no one was paying attention.

"That's better isn't it? So have you made any friends at your new college?" She looked around me then began to mock me, "Oh... Didn't you come with anyone? No friends, no _girls_? You're a pretty shit lezzer. Pretty shit person altogether really."

The tears that threatened to fall fell. It was a humiliating moment when I saw the satisfying smirk on her face. I just wanted to run and go. Go anywhere.

I saw her mouth open, ready to throw more insults but someone beat her to speaking.

"Who the fuck are you?"

My head shot up to see Naomi standing beside me with a scowl on her face. I didn't know what to think.

Jess looked taken back at first but snapped back, "Who the fuck are _you_?"

Naomi laughed sharply, "Just fuck off twat."

My throat started to ache. I was straining it, holding my breath. I was fucking scared.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No. If you don't remember, when I asked, you didn't actually answer. Amuse me though. Go on."

I knew I should be enjoying Jess's discomfort, but I couldn't. I wasn't feeling anything.

"Oh fuck off you dyke!"

Naomi snorted mockingly, "Don't hold back on the insults just for me."

The people surrounding Jess began to step forward. "Who do you think you are?"

"This again? Why don't we all just introduce ourselves, get it over and done with? I'm Naomi."

"Oh fuck off trying to be smart!"

"Unlike you, I don't have to try."

I'd always seen the phrase 'making your blood boil with anger' as a metaphor, but looking at Jess and her group of friends taught me that it could certainly happen. My hands were starting to hurt with the grip I had on my seat.

"I am going to fucking kill you."

"Try," was all Naomi said.

"Don't!" My voice cracked as I said it. I got up from my seat and faced Naomi, "Please stop."

She didn't take her eyes off Jess for a few seconds, but finally looked down at me. She nodded. I wiped away the tears that were falling, she watched me do this.

"Fucking dykes," Jess mumbled.

Naomi scowled and childishly mumbled back, "Thick cunts."

I pushed my way past them all and left the club. I didn't wait for what happened after that, I didn't wait for Naomi, I didn't wait for anyone. She shouldn't have fucking helped. No one should have to help me. I'm not 10.


	5. Naomi: Pub Talk

**A/N: **This is in NAOMI'S point of view now :) hence her name in the chapter title! Enjoy!

* * *

"Naomi? Naomi love?"

Please let this be for something important. Please don't tell me you're going on holiday for the 7th fucking time.

"I'm going now love, I won't be back for nearly 2 weeks. Are you sure you'll be alright without me?"

I cracked an eye open, grateful I was facing the opposite way to her, making my eye roll go unnoticed.

"I'll be fine mum. Really."

"Okay. I've left money downstairs on the kitchen table. Don't spend it on shit love. Now give me a kiss."

I reluctantly got up and turned to face her, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Bye mum."

"Oo, I'll miss you."

"Mum, it's for 12 days. Fuck off."

She nodded, "Say bye to Kieran too."

Oh for fucks sake. I feel like I'm a child again. "Bye Kieran."

Just as I said that, he passed my room, carrying suitcases. "Oh right, see you Naomi. I've got your coursework in my case, it better not be wank shite."

Mum turned to him, "You're not bringing your work on holiday are you?"

"Just Naomi's," He replied.

"I feel privileged," I mumbled back.

"It better be the only one. Oh shit, is that the time? Bye love. Remember what I told you. No parties either."

I nodded me head, "Bye."

In a matter of minutes, I was alone and, thanks to mum, my day had started much earlier than I had planned. The actual journey down the stairs always seemed much harder when I had just woken up. Even harder than when I was drunk.

"Tea or coffee... tea or coffee... Coffee will wake me up more, tea tastes nicer."

I eyed the cupboard, scanning the various different coffees and teas we had. This was a crucial moment in my life.

"Coffee."

I took it out the cupboard and put the kettle on. I liked mornings, especially when I was alone. It was a time to think for me. I sat at the table and thought back to the night before. I fucked that up. I didn't know she didn't want help, but they seemed like such a bunch of twats. She was crying for fucks sake, was I just meant to ignore her?

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "I didn't want to make her cry more."

The kettle began to make that pissy sound it makes.

It was relaxing sitting at the table without my mum going on about some shit I didn't care about while Kieran nodded his head and pretended to know what the fuck she was saying. Just me, myself and my coffee. Oh, and my brain telling me I had fucked up.

Why had I fucked up though? She looked like she needed help, I helped. For fucks sake. I knew I was right, I thought I was right. I am right. I must be. I was doing what friends do. Well, she isn't my friend, but I was doing what I would do for anyone in the group. Maybe she's a friend. I've never considered anyone a friend though.

'_I was 21 years as I wrote this song, I'm 22 now-' _I heard my phone ringing and reluctantly opened it.

"Hello?"

"Fancy a trip to the pub in a bit?"

"Bit early isn't it?"

"Never too late for a drink, plus it is 5."

I shrugged, despite being on the phone, "Fair enough. I'll be down in 10 minutes."

"Katie and Emily are coming too by the way. See you in 10."

The line went dead. Fucking great.

**

* * *

**

"'See you in 10'... Fucking twat, it's been 15."

"Mumbling to yourself Campbell?"

I turned around to see Effy along with Emily and Katie. I dropped my cigarette and stubbed it out with my shoe.

"Unfortunately."

I raised my eyebrows sarcastically at her before giving the twins nods of recognition. I looked back to Effy, but she had already redirected her attention to a cigarette.

"Where to?"

Effy shrugged, "Anywhere."

I mumbled again to which she smirked.

"You're really gaining a bad habit there."

"Fuck off. Where do you two want to go?"

Emily kept her head down as I expected and ignored me. Katie wasn't much use either, she just shrugged.

"Anywhere with a decent drink."

"Generally everywhere has the same drinks. Richmonds it is then."

I led the way, pulling my hood over my hair as it began to rain. I wasn't paying too much attention to the mindless talk of Katie Fitch and decided to keep my mind elsewhere.

"Will you fucking hurry up Naomi! I'm getting soaked!"

"You know you can walk past me. I'm not your fucking mum."

I turned a corner and put my hood down, seeing the Richmond in sight. I picked up my pace and walked in quickly, followed by Katie then Emily and an unfazed Effy.

I picked a booth with enough space to fit the four of us and took my coat off, placing it under the table.

"Fucking British weather."

Effy smirked, "You sound like an old woman. I'll get the drinks."

As Effy walked off, Katie glanced around. "Fuck I need a piss. I'll be right back."

Once she was out of earshot I mumbled, "So lady-like."

Not so much as a chuckle came out of Emily's mouth. I sighed and took to looking around at the people. Sometimes the pub was filled with other people our age, and then other times it was full of drunk twats but then there were times like this when it was literally empty, save for the few drunks who hadn't actually left from the night before.

"Here's your umbrella."

She speaks.

Emily pushed the umbrella across the table without even looking at me. I rolled my eyes but attempted to make amends, again by cracking a joke.

"Couldn't have given it to me when it was actually raining?"

Nevermind then.

I watched as Effy walked back with the drinks and placed them on the table. I gave a nod and took a pint from the tray she had brought.

"WKD? We're not 10 you know."

I laughed as Katie returned, taking her seat beside Emily and took the blue WKD off the tray.

Effy smirked, "Sorry. I didn't know what you two wanted."

Katie mumbled something but drank it none the less. Emily took hers, had a sip but winced. She obviously wasn't a fan of blueberry.

"That's vile."

I stopped myself from saying anything to her. She'd just glare or ignore me.

**

* * *

**

"I'll get the next round. Pints all round?"

Katie nodded, "Thank god."

I reached into my pocket and take out my money in advance, walking over to the bar. "4 pints please."

The man behind the bar nodded and didn't even question my age. They never do, but still, I like it. Makes me feel like a rebel. Christ, I sounded like a twat then.

"£12 love."

Shit. £2 short.

I turned around to the table but Katie and Effy seemed to be talking. Just as I was about to ask if he would let me off, I saw Emily coming out the toilets. Oh thank fuck.

"Emily, mind lending a couple quid?"

I knew she was angry at me, but fuck was I surprised when she ignored me completely and walked back to the table. People say I'm a bitch. Fucking hell. I must of pissed her off a lot.

"Just 3 pints actually."

The man nodded, "£9."

I have him the tenner and walked back to the table.

"Efs, pass my coat over yeah?"

She gave it to me, taking her pint as she did. "Where you going?"

"I'm gonna head off. See where the night takes me. Not feeling the quiet night in."

Effy nodded, "Call me if anything good comes up."

"Oh, me too!" Katie perked up.

I nodded and took my umbrella from the table. I saw Emily look up. She actually looked sad, but whether that was from me leaving or from what I had done the night before was still the question.

"Will do."

Then I just left.

* * *

**R&R!**


	6. Naomi: Pen Thief

**Naomi's POV again!**

* * *

You know when you're actually awake but you keep your eyes closed to think? I don't usually do that. Usually I wake up, go out, go back to sleep. The only thinking time I have is at school, in the morning when I'm drinking coffee, or Wednesday afternoons.  
Anyway, I was doing that now. I didn't know where the fuck I was. Maybe that was one of the reasons I wasn't opening my eyes, I didn't want to find out I had slept in a brothel. Actually, I don't know. I've always wanted to see what one looked like. I always imagined it to be really suave. Or really horrible.

"Everyone get the fuck out of my house! My parents are coming home now!"

At least I was in someone's house.

I cracked my eye open and saw someone sleeping just beside me. I hope nothing had happened. Shit. I pushed myself up and saw that we were both fully clothes so I doubted anything had happened. I don't tend to dress myself after drunken sex.

"Help me wake people up."

I turned around and saw someone shaking people awake. It wasn't my fucking job.

"Sorry, got places to be."

"Oh for fucks sake!"

I smirked and left. I prided myself in my bitchiness sometimes.

I walked out the house, closing the door behind me loudly. That would have woken some people up. See, I do help sometimes. It wasn't until I closed the door that I realised I had no fucking idea where I was.

"Where the fuck am I?"

I trudged up the driveway and looked around. I actually felt like I had woken up in the fucking tardis. There was no one around to ask either. I guess I was stuck here.

"Run!"

I turned my head back to the house to see a couple lads running out. One stopped at me and winked.

"Alright babe," He grinned.

I took this as my chance to ask for help, "Yeah except I have no fucking idea where I am. Know where a bus stop is?"

"Just down the road babe."

I nodded, "Thanks."

He grabbed my arm before I could turn away, "Got a pen?"

What the fuck did he want with a pen? "Er yeah, here." I slipped my hand into my jeans pocket and pulled out a half chewed blue pen. I turned to walk away but he didn't let go of my arm, instead he pushed my blazer sleeve up.

"Here's my number babe. Give me a call if you're ever round here again?"

He took off running again.

Didn't even give me my pen back, cunt.

**

* * *

**

"Does this go to the city centre?"

The bus driver just nodded. What a talker.

"Er, student please."

I gave him the money, took a seat and waited out the journey. As the bus drove, I was becoming more aware of where I was as I noticed familiar places but still, I was a fucking long way out from the Richmond pub.

_Richmond_. The last thing I could actually remember from yesterday. I remembered going there, it raining, Emily being pissed off with me, leaving there and then... Well that was all I could remember. I must have got pissed quickly or got high. I checked my pockets and noticed I was down 3 joints. It appears I have my answer.

Finally, after 40 minutes, I was actually getting closer to the city centre. I sighed and looked out the window, seeing a more than familiar place. It was the park. I pressed the stop button and got up. As the bus stopped, I said my thanks and waited for the doors to open. I must be quite close to college from here too considering the park is here. Unless the park is a lot bigger than I thought. I crossed the road and walked in by an entrance I had never gone in by. The only way I knew it was Trinity Park was by the sign. I hoped there weren't two in Bristol and I had just gotten off the bus for the wrong one. It looked the same. _Fuck, what a stupid thought_. All parks look the same. I guess only time could tell if it was the same park, so I set off to look around.

It was about 10 minutes of aimlessly walking that I found my usual spot in the park. Thank god it was the same park. I fucking loved this spot of the park. No one ever went there, it was quiet. No one bothered me here. Plus the playground that had been vandalised and abandoned was a nice touch to the scene.  
I sat down in my usual spot, my back against a tree, and lit one of the remaining spliffs. I should really be saving them, but whatever. At some point I was going to light it, why not now?

I let the smoke linger in my mouth long enough to get the full effect, but not so much that I coughed. It's ridiculous when people inhale and exhale within seconds. What's the point? If you're going to pay the money, make it worthwhile, y'know? I closed one of my eyes, blocking out the sun, and looked around. Sometimes I felt lonely when I came here. I know it's my thinking place and all, but that doesn't stop me feeling lonely. Ever heard that Orson Welles quote? Something like 'we're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.' I'm pretty sure that's it. Well anyway. My old English teacher put this up on the board once and asked us to tell her if we agreed with it. Of course, will us all being total fuckwits when we were 15, it didn't matter to us. I think back to that quote now. I'm shit scared it's true. I'm scared because I don't have friends, like I said. I don't find friendship in anyone. I definitely don't find love. Is that why I constantly feel lonely? Because I can't create the illusion? Do I _want _to create an illusion? Fuck I don't know. I know I don't want to be lonely. I don't want to die alone.

"Naomi?"

I dropped the joint and looked up to see Emily standing over me, surprised.

"Fuck Emily, you scared me."

She bit her lip, "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

I nodded and picked up the joint, checking it was still lit, which it was. I placed it back and my mouth and tried to calm my nerves. Emily didn't half scare me. What was she doing here anyway? She still hadn't left.

"What?" I asked, looking back up at her.

"Can I sit here?"

I nodded, "Sure."

She sat beside me and began to awkwardly run her hand across the grass, watching as it sprung back to its original position as it left her touch. I became mesmerised by this myself until I felt a burning sensation in my hand. The joint had burnt out.

"Fuck!"

Emily turned quickly to face me, "What happened?"

I shook my hand out, trying to get the burning feeling on my fingers to stop. "Fucking thing burnt my fingers."

"Oh, are you alright?"

"I'll survive... what a waste."

"You should really stop smoking that stuff anyway..."

I laughed, "Like I haven't heard that before."

"Your brain cells are gonna die one by one if you carry one."

"I have enough brain cells to sacrifice."

She smirked, "I suppose."

We fell into a silence again as I decided to change to cigarettes. I leaned back against the tree and let my eyes close. I hadn't realised how tired I actually was. I need sleep. God I just wanted to sleep. Sleep here. I liked it here.

"I'm sorry about how I acted yesterday."

What happened yesterday? Nothing happened yesterday.

"Naomi, are you ignoring me?"

"No, I'm tired."

"Oh, why?"

"I don't know..."

"A party last night?"

I cracked an eye and saw her looking at my arm. I lifted it and saw the number written on it. "Tthe prick that wrote that stole my pen."

She smiled, "Wanker."

"I know. He was useful though."

Her smile faded. I could only imagine what she thought I had meant.

"He showed me where the bus stop was. I had no fucking idea where I was," I clarified.

"You didn't know where you were? You must have been pissed."

"High, unfortunately. Anyway, what were you saying?"

She bit her bottom lip, "I'm sorry about yesterday."

I remembered. "Oh, forget it. It doesn't matter."

She shook her head, "You didn't do anything wrong though. You were just helping me. I just took it badly because no one has ever stuck up for me and I didn't know how to react. Plus, in my old college, people would do that," She trailed off.

I looked over to her and questioned, "Do what?"

She bit her lip and looked at her cardigan. "Pretend they were defending me and then do exactly the same thing as everyone else."

"I wasn't doing that," I said.

"I know."

I just nodded. I understood her a bit more at least. That reminded me though, what had it been over? All I remember is a few 'dyke' and 'lezza' comments being thrown about. Wait.

"So you're gay?"

She looked away, avoiding my eyes. She looked back down at the grass and kept her eyes on it. I saw her cheeks going red and her eyes glistening. I took that all as a yes.

"It doesn't matter you know."

She wiped away a stray tear and nodded.

"Emily, really. It doesn't. I'm sorry everyone has treated you like shit about it before but I really just don't care. You're still the same Emily as the one that couldn't find the office."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I think I actually felt my heart break a little. Why, I don't know.

"Why?"

"Because it just doesn't matter."

* * *

**R&R! :-)**

** I was hoping to reply to all your reviews with a thank you, but I don't have a lot of time nowadays, just enough to upload each chapter (they were all pre-written over the winter holidays y'see!). So I'll say it as a mass: THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REVIEWS! I love you allll 3**

**If you ask a question in a review though then I will probably answer for you :)**


	7. Emily: Run, Run

Ever since moving colleges, my social life had sky rocketed. I had been at the college for one day before going into a spring holiday but it didn't matter, I had made better friends in one day than I had in the 4 months at my old college. Admittedly I hadn't met anyone outside the group or really talked to anyone else in my social outings, but still, I found myself waking up in someone else's house for the 3rd time! 3rd! I now knew why Katie went to so many parties.

Even though I woke up in someone else's house, I woke up relieved. I had had this constant buzz ever since seeing Naomi in the park, nearly 3 days ago. Not only did she convince me it was okay to tell everyone I was gay, she also accepted me. She came off as the bitchiest and the meanest but she accepted me.

"She fucking adores you! Did you not see how she was looking at you all last night?"

Who was Katie talking to?

"Fuck off Katie, stop talking shit."

Shit. Were they arguing about me?

"Oh for fucks sake Naomi! Emily likes you, alright? Now I'm just telling you that so that what I say next makes sense. Stay the fuck away from her. Don't lead her on, don't talk to her in fact. Just fucking leave her alone."

I wanted to kill her. What gave her the right to say who could speak to me? What gives her any right to fucking do that at all! I waited to hear what Naomi had to say though.

"Katie, get your fucking facts straight. Emily isn't even my friend, let alone my fucking lover. We're nothing. We're not even a fucking 'we'. I've hardly spoken a sentence to her, alright? I have enough to worry about without you talking shit to me, and her fancying me. Fuck off, alright?"

Oh. I wish I hadn't stuck around to hear that. I grabbed my cardigan and left the house by the back entrance, trying to get out as quickly as I could, hoping no one would notice me – the crying red head. That's all I ever seemed to be doing. Crying. It didn't fucking matter though, did it? No one ever cared. If they did, they wouldn't make me cry. Once I knew I was out of sight, I ran for it. I just ran. I turned corners and just hoped I would end up somewhere far away from Naomi, Katie, all of them - everyone I had, only last night, decided I would refer to as my friends. So much for that.

_Emily isn't even my friend, let alone my fucking lover._

_The lover bit doesn't come as a surprise, but the friend bit? I thought we were. I thought... Oh god, I don't know what I fucking thought. I thought when we were at the park and the way she had stood up for me and everything else meant we were at least friends._

_I've hardly spoken a sentence to her, alright?_

Why did she lie? We'd spoken just the day before. That time at the cafe. We'd spoken like fucking _friends_. Was she ashamed of me? Was everyone ashamed of me? Was anyone actually my fucking friend! Fuck it. Fuck it all. I looked up and saw the cafe that I had first properly spoken to Naomi in. I walked in and wiped away my tears quickly. I didn't really want anything to drink, just somewhere to sit and think, but I asked for a coffee anyway. I sat down at the exact same table and placed the coffee down. It didn't matter how much I tried, tears still fell.

"Get yourself together Emily for fucks sake."

I took a deep breath in, wiped the tears and swore to myself that I wouldn't cry anymore. Not over Naomi. Especially not over Naomi.

**

* * *

**

I don't know how long I had been sitting in the cafe, but I knew it had well exceeded 2 hours. I just couldn't bring myself to leave. I didn't want to. I couldn't really be bothered to. All texts and calls were ignored. If they really fucking cared, they'd just look for me.

"There you are. For fucks sake, we've been looking everywhere for you."

I looked up to see Naomi standing above me, running her hand through her hair. She sighed in relief and sat opposite me.

"We thought you'd been kidnapped or something."

"Yeah well I hadn't."

She raised an eyebrow at me and then proceeded to raid the other as realisation hit her. "Oh. You heard me and Katie. That, or you're terrible when you're hungover."

"I heard."

She nodded and looked out of the window beside her, watching as people walked past. She didn't say anything and neither did I. I had nothing to say. In fact, I wish she'd fuck off. It seemed I was more angry with Naomi than I was happy.

"Look, I'm sorry."

I snorted sarcastically, "Oh, that makes everything alright then."

She scowled, "Hey look, it's not like I was expecting Katie to tell me something like that. I'm sorry I got angry."

I laughed bitterly, "You just don't get it do you?" My voice cracked as I half sobbed out, "I thought you were my fucking friend. I don't care if you don't like me like I like you but I at least thought you were my friend!"

She looked bewildered. "Why do you care so much about being my friend?"

"Because I fucking do! I don't usually have friends, especially people that know I'm fucking gay! Then you find out, you even defend me over it, you share your spliffs with me and... and for fucks sake! I just thought we were friends!"

She looked sympathetically at me, "I'm not someone to cry over Emily. I never will be. I'm definitely not someone you should cry over being _friends _with."

I shook my head. She was so wrong. "I think you are."

Nothing was said as she looked at me. She looked down and then shrugged, "Fine then."


	8. Emily: Life On Mars?

**Warning: My longest chapter yet hahah :')**

**

* * *

  
**

I woke up to the sound of my ringtone buzzing down my ear. Not only was it hurting my brain, it was also annoying me. Who the fuck was calling me anyway?

"Hello?"

"Alright Ems?"

I perked up. It was Naomi.

"Yeah, yeah, hey."

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's alright," I said while sitting up in my bed.

She laughed on the other end, "Alright. Well I'm just calling to ask if you want to come up to Ireland with me for a couple days? My uncle owns this cottage up there, I usually take Effy but she's got to look after her mum because she's gone a bit mental or some shit like that."

Naomi was asking me to go up to Ireland with her?

"It's alright if you don't want to," She added quickly.

"N-no! I'd love to!"

She laughed again. "Okay good. Well, pack enough clothes for about 4 days and be at the airport at about 5? You sure you're okay to come?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah! I'll be there! See you at 5."

I hadn't seen or spoken to Naomi in a week or so and had felt she hadn't really wanted to be my friend after the conversation we had but it appeared I was wrong. I was fucking happy I was wrong. It didn't matter that Katie was lying asleep in the bed next to me, I gave a noise of excitement and grinned into the mirror.

**

* * *

**

I look around everywhere. It was 5:20 and she wasn't here. I started to feel a knot in my stomach at the idea that this was just a joke she had pulled on my. A horrible joke.

"Sorry I'm late, needed to find the keys to the cottage."

I turned around and saw Naomi pulling up a suitcase, clearly out of breath. Her ran her hands through her hair - which I was finding to be something she did a lot - and rested against her suitcase as she took deep breathes in.

The knot turned into butterflies.

"It's okay," I smiled.

She smiled too. "So your parents were fine with you coming?"

Not at all. They thought I was going on a 4 day acting course. "Yeah, they're fine with it."

"Good," She nodded.

We started heading to the line of people, beginning what looked like a 20 minute wait for tickets. I looked over, trying to see if the screen showed prices. I couldn't see anything over anyone but I was determined to see the small text at the front.

"What are you looking for?" Naomi asked amused.

"Prices of the tickets..." I answered, still looking over the mass of people on my tip toes.

Naomi placed a hand on my shoulder and pushed me flat onto my feet. "Don't worry about that. I'm paying."

"W-what? No way! I can't let you pay for my ticket to Ireland."

She shrugged, "I can and will. My mum's gone on holiday you see. She left me £500. She doesn't quite understand that food isn't made of gold. Tickets are only £30 anyway. It's fine, really."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, "We're friends right?"

**

* * *

**

"Please take this time to check your seatbelt is fastened and tight about your waist. Thank you for flying with us, we hope you enjoy your flight."

Naomi turned to me, "I fucking hate those speeches. Seriously. We'll be on here for like an hour. If this plane crashes within an hour, it must be fucking shit."

I laughed, but attempted to cover it as a flight attendant walked past and glared at Naomi.

"I'm thinking I'll go all cliché and get a pack of peanuts."

The flight attendant turned around and said matter-of-factly, "We can't sell peanuts anymore in case of allergies."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Fuckin' hell. People can be allergic to anything!"

"Nut allergies tend to be more severe."

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Amazing that they can stop people dying from nut allergies, but still have to give safety procedures at the start in case of hijacking."

I tried to keep a straight face as the flight attendant looking at Naomi in anger and surprise.

"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you don't mention things like that. Other passengers may be uncomfortable with the subject."

"What peanuts?"

I couldn't stop a laugh escaping.

"I think you know what I mean."

Naomi turned to face me and rolled her eyes, "Tosser." She leaned back in her seat then turned her head so she was looking directly at me, "So Emily, any plans for the rest of the holiday?"

I shook my head, "No. Not really..."

"I see."

"You?"

"Nah. Take whatever comes," She said while glancing out the window beside me. "We're taking off now."

I looked out and saw as the plane began to move. My grip on the arm rest strengthened and my teeth began to bite down on my lower lip. Fuck, I forgot how terrified of planes I was. I looked dead ahead, hoping Naomi wouldn't catch on.

Naomi looked at me, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I said quickly.

She placed her hand on top of my and squeezed it. "Calm down, I'm here."

My cheeks flushed as my eyes looked to her hand. Naomi was touching me. God I sound like such a fangirl. The plane began to rumble and shake as it got faster. Naomi's hand never got tighter while mine never ceased to. The second the plane hit maximum speed, I pushed against the seat.

"Tell me something, talk about anything!" I breathed out shakily to her.

"What?" She asked confused.

I closed my eyes tightly, "Tell me a story or something! It keeps my mind off the plane!"

"Christ! Uhm, what kind of story?"

"Any for fucks sake!"

She stumbled around for words, "Okay, uhm. A fox saw this crow right? This crow had, like, a piece of cheese in its beak or something and the fox decided he wants it. He goes up to the crow, who is high up in a tree, and calls it."

What sort of story was this? I thought she would tell me some funny or rude story. Still, I listened.

"And he shouts for the crow saying something like 'Hello, Mistress Crow!'"

I snorted at Naomi's impression.

"So, the crow looks down at him. He shouts shit like 'you're looking nice today. Your feathers are lovely. You must be the best of all birds, most definitely!' Y'know, all wank shite like that? So then he says 'sing one song so I can crown you the queen of birds.'"

"The queen of birds?" I laughed.

Naomi scrunched her nose, "I didn't make this story for fucks sake! Anyway, as I was saying, the fox asked for a song. So the crow gets ready and... makes that noise that crows make... Help me out Ems."

"Caws?"

"Caws. It caws its best. But! The second its beak opens, the cheese falls. Falls right down to the foot of the fox. Bein' a fox, it snaps it up in a second. 'That's all I wanted. In exchange for the cheese, I'll give you some advice: do not trust flatterers.' The end."

I began to laugh in bewilderment.

"What?" She asked.

"I just didn't except a story like that."

She looked confused, "What did you expect?"

I shrugged, "Y'know, something about when you were a kid or something you heard about someone. Something like that. Not a moral."

"Oh," She smirked, "Well I think morals are better told, don't you?"

"I wouldn't have minded hearing some stories of little Naomi though."

She shrugged, "There aren't any."

I raised an eyebrow, "There must be. Everyone has funny stories."

"I don't," She said blankly.

"No stories? Nothing about how when you were 10 you forgot it was own clothes day? Or when you were 13 you had an argument with a girl over hair clips?"

She stared at me and then shook her head, "No... Should I?"

I nodded as if she were mad, "Yes! You went to school didn't you?"

"Of course I did, but what has that got to do with anything?"

I bit my lip. I was starting to feel like I was losing all connection with Naomi.

"I just thought you'd have stories."

Naomi shrugged, "I have memories, just not stories."

"They're the same aren't they?"

She looked thoughtful then said, "I don't know. It's like... all stories are memories, but not all memories are stories. Do you know what I mean?"

I didn't really, "No..." But I wanted to know what she meant, "Simplify it?"

She nodded, "Well a story is something that's interesting and someone wants to hear, at least most of the time it is. It has a beginning, it has a middle and an end whether people realise that or not, but none of my memories are stories. They're just things that have happened that have no effect on me whatsoever and will not have an effect on anyone else either. Get me now?"

I nodded. I was beginning to understand. "But what do you call it when you tell people your memories?"

She bit her lip and began to think. "I've never told anyone a memory, so I don't know."

"You've never told anyone a memory? You must have at least once..."

She laughed, "Let's not start this again. No, I haven't. I've never needed to and I've never actually felt propelled to tell anyone one. Except now I suppose," She chuckled.

"You feel like telling me one?"

I saw as she licked her lip and her eyes squinted a bit as she looked at me, "Yeah, I suppose I do."

"Then tell me one?"

We continued looking at each other, my face burning up, until a smirk cracked on her lips, "No."

My stomach knotted. I was so close to cracking the wall Naomi had built. I knew from Effy that I had already managed to pass a wall she had thought was unbreakable, but it seemed Naomi still had a lot to hide and a lot she wouldn't tell me. Why did I even think she would anyway? We've known each other less than a week yet I expected the world from her.

"Why not?"

She smiled, "Because."

It was a childish response, but I had nothing to retort.

**

* * *

**

"We hope you enjoyed your flight and we hope to see you again."

Naomi sighed, "Thank fuck for that."

I pouted, "You didn't enjoy an hour on a plane with me?"

She laughed, "Of course I did, but I do find the thought of sitting in for an hour in one massive capsule of peoples sneezes and coughs and any other diseases they have less than enjoyable."

"Ew."

She nodded gravely, "Exactly."

It didn't take long for us to collect our suitcases, but it did take a while for Naomi to figure out where we were.

"I've been up here like 10 times but it always seems different..." She looked around and bit her bottom lip. "I think it's that way," She pointed out into nowhere.

I looked sceptically ahead then to Naomi, "Are you sure?"

"... Yes."

So we began to walk 'that way'.

"Naomi, can you ask for directions? You're worse than my dad."

She bit her lip and shook her head, "No! I know where we are."

I laughed, "You said that an hour ago. It's starting to go dark, let's just ask someone. I'll ask."

She huffed, "Fine. Whatever."

I smiled at her before turning around and spotted someone. "Hey, I was just wondering if you knew the way to... to... Uhm..." I turned to Naomi for help.

She chuckled at me, "Do you know how to get to Dalkey's town centre?"

The man nodded and with a thick Irish accent began to tell Naomi directions. I couldn't understand him. I knew he was speaking English and all, but with an accent like that, it was hard to concentrate completely on what he was saying.

"Thanks."

"No problem," He waved as he continued on his way.

"Alright Ems, to Dalkey centre we go."

I nodded, "Why are we going to the centre?"

"I know exactly how to get to the cottage from the Horse Head Pub and I know where that is from the town."

"I wonder why you know the way back from the pub," I chuckled.

She smirked. "Let's get going."

"I love Ireland," Naomi said randomly as we walked. "I love the Irish."

I looked up to her, stumbling slightly as my suitcase bumped over something. "Why?" I noticed we had walked past the Horse Head Pub, so I assumed we were close to the cottage.

She shrugged, "I like the atmosphere here. It's nice y'know? A change from Bristol. Like, in Bristol, it's party after party and everyone acting like cunts and then you come here and it's not parties, it's quiet drinks in the pub and going on long walks and all shit like that."

I smiled, "I didn't see you as a quiet person."

"No one ever does. It's not that I don't like parties, I fucking love them, but y'know. Maybe a few years away from it wouldn't be so bad."

"You'd actually come live here?"

I was beginning to notice she bit her lip a lot. "Maybe. I don't know. Trinity College doesn't sound too bad. What about you? Any universities in mind?"

"I haven't really thought about it," I told her truthfully. "Maybe Bristol or Liverpool, but I'm not sure."

She nodded then reached into her bag. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She offered me one but I declined.

"This fucking suitcase. I didn't even put that much in it but it weighs a ton."

"Mines alright, it just keeps like turning off its wheel... You smoke way too much."

She raised her eyebrow at my subject change and then shrugged. "Yeah, I do." She licked her lip and proceeded to put the cigarette into her mouth. "And we are here."

I looked to the left of me, and saw a small white cottage. It looked like how you would imagine a cottage to look, with the vines and little gate letting you into the front yard.

"It's so cute."

Naomi chuckled, "I suppose."

I looked around. It was in an area with about 4 other cottages, but each looked like they had no one in them. "So you come here a lot?"

She stubbed out her cigarette and began to root around in her bag for the keys as she talked. "Yeah, kinda. I mean, I don't like come down a lot but - shit where are they? – but in the past year I've been coming down more. Found them!"

She put the key in and rammed the door with her shoulder, stumbling forward once it opened. I laughed at her before following with my suitcase.

"Okay Emily! Quiet night in, or a trip down to the pub?"

I didn't really mind to be honest. Anywhere with Naomi was fine. "You choose."

She smirked, "The pub it is!"

**

* * *

**

"This one goes out to Emily! Might have not known her long, but she's a fucking top notch person!"

I grinned at Naomi as she talked into the microphone. She winked at me and then looked to the person by the karaoke machine and gave a nod. The music began to play and everyone cheered as they heard David Bowie's song sound through the speakers.

"It's a god awful small affair to the girl with the mousy hair but her mummy is yelling 'no' and her daddy has told her to go!"

She added facial expressions as she sang and I realised just how drunk she was. I was nowhere near as pissed as her.

"But her friend is nowhere to be seen. Now she walks through her sunken dream to the seat with clearest view and she's hooked to the silver screen!"

She added a little head bang as the music went a bit more upbeat and continued singing.

"But the film is a saddening bore, for she's lived it 10 times or more! She could spit in the eyes of foooools, as they ask her to focus on-"

And I couldn't help but watch with a small on my face as I thought about how no one else had gotten so close to her.

"Sailors fighting in the dance hall! Oh man! Look at those cavemen go! It's the freakiest showwww..."

She pointed to a man in a suit who was innocently drinking as she said the next lines.

"Take a look at theee law man beating up the wrong guy! Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know he's in the best selling showww. Is there life on Maaaaaaaars?"

I laughed as she bounced around. I couldn't wait to tell her about this the next morning.

"I would sing the rest of the song... but I'm fucking knackered... Goodnight and cya tomorrow!" She drunkenly said into the microphone before stumbling down off the small platform. Despite singing drunk, she still got a loud cheer from the audience and she thanked each of them with a grin.

"Thanks... thank you... same time tomorrow? I'll see you then..."

She slumped beside me and smiled, "You havin' a go?"

I shook my head, "No, let's just go home." I strangely liked called the cottage 'home'.

She nodded sheepishly. "Was I good?" She asked as we began making the walk back to the cottage.

I giggled. "Yes, of course you were." She actually was quite good for a drunken person.

"That's my favourite song you know. Life on Mars. It's so fucking good. Yeah? Yeah."

I supported her as she swayed. She put her arm around me and smiled at me.

"Why's that?"

She looked up thoughtfully, opened her mouth to say something, stopped herself and thought again and proceeded to do this 3 times round. Finally, she sighed. "I just like it. It reminds me of... things."

"Things?"

"Things," She clarified with a yawn. "Are we home yet?"

I looked up and knew I was on the right road, "Yeah, should be another few mins."

"Good. Good good."

She continued to mumble the word 'good' all the time before we got back to the cottage. "Got the keys Naomi?"

"Mmm, keys?"

"Yeah... keys... for the cottage?"

Naomi nodded, "Yeah."

"Yeah, you got them?"

She leaned against the porch wall and began to rummage through her pockets, sticking her tongue out slightly in frustration.

I giggled at her.

"Got them!" She pulled them out in triumph and began to attempt getting them in the keyhole. "Fuck... why do they make them so hard to... to fucking get in..." She giggled at what she said, "That sounded dirty."

I snorted and took the keys from her hands, "Let me do that for you."

She watched as I opened it easily. "Whatever," She mumbled.

I helped her inside as she ranted on about something to do with the weather and with it being my first proper time in the cottage, I was finding it hard guiding her to the bedroom.

"Where the fuck is your bedroom?"

She pushed a door open and revealed a double bed, "There it is." And promptly collapsed on it. She fell silent.

"Naomi? Hey Naomi, where's the other bedroom?" I whispered.

She made a noise and mumbled, "Why do you need another bedroom?"

"Uhm... to sleep in?"

She rolled over on the bed so she was taking up only half the bed and lightly patted the place beside her. "Here?"

I was thankful that her eyes were shut and it was dark. My face would have only gone redder had she been able to see me clearly. "Oh, are you sure?"

She nodded sleepily. "Night Emily..."

I tiptoed out the room to my suitcase and got out a plain top with pyjama bottoms. I quickly stripped and put them on before going back to the room. By this time, Naomi had turned to facing the wall. I slipped in beside her and mumbled a good night before falling asleep.


	9. Emily: Bob Dylan and Marc Bolan

My head. My fucking head. I didn't drink that much. I know I didn't. Did I? Oh fuck. I feel sorry for Naomi. Naomi... I was in the same bed as her wasn't I? I cracked an eye open but didn't see the blonde laying beside me, only a cold empty place next to me. I'm sure I was in the same bed... Shit. I got up from the bed and crept around the corners, hoping to see her sitting somewhere but she wasn't. I sat at the table and bit my lip. Where was she? I did come to Ireland didn't I? This isn't some sort of weird dream? I'm I high? Fuck, I am aren't I?

"Alright Ems, I've got some fucking good food here!"

I turned so quickly I actually felt an ache in my neck. "Naomi!"

She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah. Er, yeah."

"Sorry, it's just I thought I was... high or something."

She laughed, "High? Save that for another night, yeah? Do you like lasagne?"

I just nodded, not really understanding why she was asking.

"Good, because I'm making it tonight. I can only make that along with toast and poptarts."

"You don't _really_ make poptarts, you just heat them."

She shook her head with mock sadness, "You and Effy. Pair of twats when it comes to my food."

"Effy?" I laughed.

"Apparently my sandwiches aren't the best. They are. Fucking good in fact. I'll make you one. Not now though, I'm making lasagne tonight," She winked at me.

"Shouldn't you have a hangover? My head kills and you drank way more than me."

Naomi smirked, "You get used to it."

I watched her as she brought in two bags and placed them on the kitchen cabinet opposite the table I was at. She first took off a rain coat she had on and shook out some of the rain from it. She began unpacking the bags and placing them in cupboards. I knew I should help, but I was content just watching her.

"So what is there to do around here?"

Naomi laughed, "Fuck all." She turned away from the cupboard and rested against the cabinets casually. "Just the company of one another and maybe some places to explore. And get drunk of course."

"Of course," I smiled. I didn't mind her company one bit. "Well I don't mind what we do."

"Watching films sound alright? There's a thunderstorm outside you see."

I hadn't noticed until she said. The rain could be heard loudly hitting the roof and windows of the small cottage. It was only a few seconds later that a loud boom could be heard.

Naomi sighed, "Would happen just when we arrive. Ah well, I've got some good shit in this place."

I laughed, "Like what? My Little Pony?"

"What? No! Why the fuck would I have My Little Pony?" She snorted. "I do, on the other hand, have some good horrors."

"Horrors? I don't like horrors," I mumbled.

She rolled her eyes, "Of course." She walked out of the kitchen area and beckoned me to follow with a wave of her hand.

I hadn't explored the cottage yet and hadn't actually seen the living room. She walked in and raised her eyebrows suggestively at the room. It was no surprise really. It had shelves of films and a fucking huge TV.

"Fuckin' hell..."

She went over to a small table and opened a draw, revealing packets of cigarettes. She took one out and lit it. "Uncle is a fucking huge film fan. Smokes a lot too. My favourite uncle," She smiled. "You should see the other room as well. Record player with the fucking biggest vinyl collection you'll ever see." She used her hands to gesture how big the collection was and grinned. "I'll show you that later. Let's focus on the films now." She went over to the first huge shelf of them and began to scan. "No horrors," She mumbled, "What about a comedy?"

"I don't like comedies either..." I was beginning to feel like a pain.

"Good, neither do I. I hate actions too, so none of them."

"Romance?" I didn't really suppose she would like them.

She shrugged, "Sure. Nothin' wrong with a bit of love." She scanned again and finally picked something out. "Elizabethtown sound alright?" Apparently she didn't mind romances.

"Never seen it. Who's in it?" I went over and looked over her shoulders at the DVD case.

"Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom."

"Sounds good to me," I nodded.

"Oh you hear Orlanda Bloom and instantly want to see it," She laughed.

I pushed her lightly and laughed, "Shut up! Gay remember?" It felt so comfortable saying it.

"Ah, it's all about Kirsten Dunst then."

She placed the cigarette in an ashtray as she put the DVD into the TV. She turned the TV on and waited for it to show the film. When it did, she picked up the cigarette and placed it back in her mouth.

I took a place on the sofa in front of the TV and followed her as she came and sat beside me, relaxing straight into it. "Woo! I'm tired already."

I chuckled, "A lot of energy you hold there Naomi."

She yawned, "I know. I smoke too much." She stubbed out the cigarette and pressed play on the remote.

It took me a while to direct my attention from Naomi's blue eyes to the actual TV.

* * *

"That was fucking shit," Naomi mumbled as the end credits rolled.

It was. I nodded my head and laughed. "It was a bit shit."

A yawn escaped her lips prompting her to cover her mouth and throw her head back slightly. "I am fucking knackered Ems."

Surprisingly, I wasn't all that tired. I'd spent most of the film thinking things over, more specifically thinking of mentioning Naomi's encounter with that girl at the party. I was beginning to question whether it was a spur of the moment, or an actual sexual preference. I could easily slip it in casually and get an answer, I didn't want to seem curious for my own purposes, but then again, Katie had already gone and fucking told her I liked her.

"I'm gonna get started on the lasagne." She pushed herself up and walked out the room.

I sat by myself for a while, still wondering whether to ask, but decided to just forget it for the night. I got up and went to the kitchen where I saw Naomi was taking various tins and packaging.

"I always fucking loose the pasta sheets. Always."

She started checking cupboards and mumbling to herself. I directed my eyes to the table where I had been sitting and noticed the box of pasta sheets. I chuckled and picked them up, walking around the table to where she was.

"Looking for these?"

I hadn't realised how close behind to her I had gotten until she turned around and our noses were mere millimetres from touching. She looked straight at me causing the familiar sensation of fire on my cheeks that seemed to be happening more and more recently.

Slowly, a smirk began to twitch at her lips. She looked down at my hands, "Exactly what I was looking for." She took it from my hand before turning around again.

I blinked and swallowed the lump in my throat and cleared it with a small cough, "Need any help?"

She shook her head, "You just sit down and I'll do all the work." She began to laugh to herself, "I've never really said that about food."

"What do you mean?" I knew exactly what she meant.

She turned to get a recipe book from the place beside me and I noticed an amused smile on her face. "Nothing."

I laughed, "It's alright, I've managed to guess what you meant."

She placed a saucepan on the stove and began adding bits and pieces to it, stirring at first and then turning up the heat. She came and sat opposite me.

"Oh? And what did you suppose I meant?" She smirked.

I gave a nervous laugh.

She shook her head from amusement before picking up a salt shaker and fiddling with it. I decided this was probably the best time to ask her considering we were somewhat on the subject on her sex life. Forget about putting it off. "So, do you always do all the work?"

"Food or sex?" She asked casually.

"Sex," I mumbled back, shyly.

She looked up from the salt shaker then back down at it, shrugging. "Depends really."

I licked my lips, "On what?"

She shook some of the salt out on the table and began making shapes within it with her finger. I watched as she did it, waiting for an answer.

"On who it is. If the person is a twat then they can do all the work. If it's someone who I've actually found interest in, maybe. Most of the time though, it's both." She looked up at me, "I'm sure you don't want to hear about my sex life though," She chuckled.

I did. I did a lot. "Better hearing about yours than mine."

"Why?"

I looked away embarrassed, "Because I don't actually have one right now."

She chuckled, "I see. No girls you've seen round at parties taking your interest?"

You. "I doubt any of them are gay," I said.

"You don't have to be gay to get with a girl."

Here was my chance. "First hand experience?"

She smirked, "Cheeky."

I didn't know if she was going to carry on or leave it at that, but I hoped she would tell me.

She shrugged and looked back down at the salt on the table. "I find it ridiculous that the sex you get with determines what orientation you are. I mean, sometimes I find a female to be, well, more attractive than a male and sometimes it's the other way around."

"So you're bisexual?" I tried to clarify.

She shook her head. "No, I wouldn't say that. I'd say..." She bit her lip, "Some nights I'm gay, other nights I'm straight." She smirked and looked at me. "There's no point labelling what can't be labelled."

A lump appeared in my throat again, but I just nodded. I wondered how often she had gay nights in comparison to straight nights.

There was a noise from behind her, causing her to turn around quickly. "Fuck! The sauce!" She got up quickly and took the saucepan off the stove. "Let's leave that conversation for another time, yeah? I'll give the lasagne my full attention for tonight."

"Okay," was all I said.

I looked over at the salt on the table but saw it had all been swept to one side. She reached over and took a bit of it.

"Sauce could do with some salt."

* * *

I cringed as I took a bite, "This is, um, really nice Naomi." I tried to like it. I really did. I tried to get past the fact that the sauce tasted a bit like, well, shit.

She tapped her plate with her fork before cringing in a similar fashion as mine. "Alright so it's still toast and poptarts." She laughed and leaned back in her seat, "Fancy a sandwich?"

I nodded and picked up my plate along with hers, emptying them into the bin while she got up to start making her apparent 'fucking good' sandwiches – prompting a giggle to myself and a confused smile from Naomi. I hadn't realised how fucking cold it was until I sat back down at the table. I shivered and hugged myself.

"You cold?" Naomi asked straight away.

"Oh, kind of," I mumbled, not wanting to be a bother to her.

"Follow me mia cara," She said while kicking the fridge door closed. She picked up the plates of sandwiches and walked out of the kitchen area carefully.

"Mia what?"

She laughed before turning around, using her back to push open a door that I hadn't been past yet. "Mia cara," She said again. "And here is the beautiful vinyl collection. Magnifico, sì?"

Where was all this foreign language coming from? Not that I minded – I rather liked it. I was finding it extremely attractive. "Do I want to know what you're saying?" I asked with a quick laugh as I glanced around the room. It was a dull, yet pretty yellow with vintage flower patterns running around the room. There was just one sofa which was one of those old ones you pictures your nan to have – the flowers sewn in and the colour to be off white, more creamy in fact. Even the lighting was dim, with only the lighting of a couple lamps, making the entire room look comfortable and homey.

"I was saying nice things, don't worry."

I smiled, "What did you say?"

She placed the plates down on the small table in front of the sofa and smirked at me before going over to the record player. "How do you feel about Bob Dylan?"

"Never really listened to him," I said truthfully as I sat down on the sofa. I leaned forward and took a bite out of one of sandwiches. It was actually pretty nice, but with sandwiches being virtually impossible to mess up, it was hardly an achievement. I didn't tell Naomi this though.

"You've never listened to Bob Dylan? What the fuck have you been listening to?"

I took another bite, "I dwunno, struff?"

"Emily Fitch! Don't talk with your mouth full," She said, with her back still to me.

I half choked on the sandwich as I laughed. "I said; I dunno, stuff? Mainly just Katie's shit."

"Which was?" She inquired.

"Spice Girls, Liberty X, Westlife. That shit."

She snorted and came and joined me on the sofa. She closed her eyes, relaxing her features. A small smile appeared on her face as she waited for the music to start. A guitar began to play and she cracked her eye open as she glanced at me. I couldn't help but smile back. She was too beautiful. I don't think I was ever going to stop saying that in my head, not until the day when it wasn't true - AKA: never.

"Hurricane, Bob Dylan's best song in my opinion. 8 and a half minutes of pure amazingness. Try and get Lady Gaga to sing an 8 minute song without it mentioning her muff munching tendencies or something about a poking faces."

I laughed and turned onto my side so I was facing Naomi directly. "It's called 'Poker Face' in reference to the expression."

"Whatever," She said with a grin, "I don't listen to shit like that."

"What do you listen to then? Besides Bob Dylan, of course."

"Of course," She repeated with an amused tone. "Marc Bolan, ever heard of him?"

I shook my head, "No."

She rolled her eyes, "Ever seen Billy Elliot?"

"Yeah, I've seen that. The ballet dancing kid?"

She laughed at, what I assumed, was my description of the film. "Yeah. The ballet dancing kid. All the good songs off that were his, well his bands. , heard them?" I shook my head. "Cosmic Dancer, Get It On, Ride a White Swan, all his."

"I like that song Ride a White Swan," I said. It always reminded me of the summer when I went round to this girls house. She was just a friend, but I adored her. She was a bit like Naomi actually, music taste wise.

She nodded, "Me too. Here comes the story of the hurricane, the man the authorities came to blame," She sang quietly as she relaxed back into the sofa again. "I'll put on after this. Though you do know what that means? A law of Naomi's vinyl room."

"What's that?" I asked, half laughing, half with fear.

"We're lighting a spliff and getting high."

I smirked, "And this is a law of yours is it?"

"Nah," She smiled, "Just decided it then. But still."

She got up from her place and left the room but was back in mere minutes with a pack of cigarettes. I watched as she put it on the table in front.

"I thought we were-"

She put her hand up, "Ah, ah, ah. Wait." She opened it and revealed a small pack of weed a long with some skins and a lighter with the odd cigarette in the pack. She rolled out two before getting up and changing the record. Ride A White Swan began blasting. She lit one of the joints and took the first drag before handing it to me.

"Here's to us. I due moschettieri!"

"What the fuck are you saying?" I giggled out, already feeling the effects.

"Who the fuck knows, Ems, who the fucks knows."

* * *

**If you hadn't realised, I don't have a beta which is the reasons for any mistakes you see hehe, I'm not looking for a beta though, I'm too lazy for one. Soooo, if you see in mistakes lemme know? :D R&R!**


	10. Katie: Friends or Lack Thereof

**I suppose this is a bit of a filler chapter... Heheh. Anyway. Katie! Woo!**

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She told me in confidence, made me swear as her sister not to tell, but fuck was I tempted to tell mum and dad exactly where Emily had run off to. Fucking acting course? When had Emily _ever_ done anything to do with acting? She was the fucking shyest twat ever. Mum and dad are so fucking oblivious sometimes. I mean, it usually works to my advantage, but then there were times like this that they should question us. I still can't believe it. Ireland with fucking Naomi. I told the blonde bitch to stay the fuck away from my sister and what does she go and do? Invite her down to her cottage in Ireland. I only wanted what was best for Emily and Naomi definitely wasn't that. Emily had fallen for the wrong person. Out of everyone, she had to go for the bitchiest, most selfish cunt there was. Even if she had found a liking to Effy it would have been better. At least Effy is decent and straight. Naomi wasn't completely gay, I knew that, but she was much closer to it than I liked, making it far more likely that her and Emily were up to _something_. Why did Naomi even ask Emily? Emily wasn't exactly the exciting one of the group of us.

Where the fuck is this bus anyway? I've been waiting for 20 minutes and it still hasn't turned up. I might just get a taxi or forget about it completely...

"Alright Katie."

I looked up and saw Effy walking over with a cigarette in hand. She sat beside me at the bus stop and stubbed it out. She always did turn up when you least expect it.

"Hey Ef."

"Where you going?" She asked.

I half suspected she didn't actual give a shit, but answered anyway. "Just to go meet a few of my girlfriends for a drink. Care to join?"

"No thanks," She said with a smirk.

I pouted. I had hoped she would actual agree. "What about you?"

She shrugged, "Dunno. Wherever the night takes me."

She sounded like fucking Naomi. "I see. Got nowhere to go without your partner in crime?"

"Naomi I assume?" She laughed.

I nodded. Those two were two peas in a pod. Both of them could do whatever they wanted, both could get whatever they wants and both could look good while they did it – as much as I hated to almost _compliment _Naomi.

She gave a laugh before nodding slowly. "I hate to admit it, but she does usually give me something to do."

"Why would you hate to admit it? Not a fan of her either?"

She stared at me, "No, I rather like Naomi actually. The most likeable person I've found in fact maybe with the competition of Panda, of course." She raised her eyebrows at me. "I don't see why you don't like her though."

She had got to be fucking kidding me. Likeable my fucking ass. "Likeable? Naomi likeable?"

"Maybe you and I prefer different friends. I'm not a fan of plastics."

"I'm not a fan of bitchy twats," I snapped back.

She smirked, "I'm feeling a deeper hatred than just that. Anything to do with her and Emily going to Ireland?"

Of course she knew. I shook my head furiously even though she was completely right. "No. I don't give a fuck what Emily does. If she wants to try and get with the worst possible person there is, then fine. She doesn't know what she'd getting herself in for, that's all."

Effy eyed me and smiled without any amusement. "What do you think Naomi is? You make her sound like a rapist." She suddenly smirked, "Anyway, it was only until a few weeks back that you stopped trying to make her your friend. You had your eyes set on her for a while."

I hoped she wouldn't mention that.

"Yeah well, whatever. I tried because she was in the same group."

She wasn't convinced. "Why does it bother you so much that Emily and Naomi are friends?"

It was then that I realised she had figured it out. I mentally slapped myself before adding a future warning that Effy figured out everything.

I wasn't going to admit to it so easily though. "Because Naomi will fuck my sister up."

Effy smirked, "Now the real reason?"

"That was it," I firmly stated.

"Okay then. I can see when my advice isn't wanted."

Effy was going to give _me_ advice? I was somewhat intrigued by this. What could she have to say? I sighed and rolled my eyes. "You know exactly why."

She nodded, "I know, but I want to hear it in full. I've only managed to piece bits together."

"For fucks sake. I don't get it, that's the reason! I've fucking known Naomi since the first day of college, in fact, I don't know if anyone knew this, but I met her in the summer before at the pub. I bought her a pint but she still didn't give me so much as a smile. Then, we go to college and I think that we might be friends then, but no. She still fucking ignored me and even makes fun of me. I tried so fucking much to get on her good side. I really did. I'm not gonna lie, I tried harder to be her friend than I've ever tried on a fucking exam. You always seemed to have so much fun with her, even Cook and JJ and Freddie talked about her as if she were a fucking piece of gold. I'm fucking jealous. Then Emily comes and joins and on the first day they're already talking. Naomi actually smiles at Emily! I get smirks and eye rolls but Emily gets laughs and smiles and shit. Now, now she's off in Ireland with her! I just don't get what Emily did that made it any different. It isn't particularly with Naomi though! _Everyone _fucking prefers Emily and I don't get it. I'm fun and I'm interesting and she's just boring and shy and that shouldn't be likeable! Don't confuse my jealousy of Emily's popularity with her closeness to Naomi."

Emily always said that once I start, I can't stop. Apparently though, Effy had listened.

"I get it. Wow, I got you two so wrong."

"What?" I asked. What did she mean?

"I thought Emily was jealous of you and you were... content. It seems both of you have a lot of jealousy about you."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever."

Effy had, by now, lit another cigarette. She leaned back against the glass of the bust stop. "Maybe Emily is just a nicer person."

"I'm nice!"

She shrugged, "Your definition and everyone else's is probably much, much different."

A bus pulled up and so I stood up. Effy looked up and said, "Try being nicer, it works wonders."

I got on the bus and sat towards the back, thinking about what Effy had said. I was nice, wasn't I? I wasn't like fucking Cook, but people still like him. Then again, he is quite a nice person... Oh fuck, there's no way in hell I'm worse than fucking Cook! I mean, sometimes I can be a twat, I know that. I'm a twat to Emily a lot, to Naomi too I suppose and I guess everyone. I just don't see the point in actually being nice. It doesn't get you anywhere. _It gets you friends_. I sighed and leaned back in the seat. It was worth a fucking try.

'_Have a nice time in Ireland Ems xxx'_

I sent the text and watched as my phone confirmed it had gone through.

"Fucking Effy," I mumbled.


	11. Naomi: I Thought I Was Doing Okay

**Another long chapter, but I hope you enjoy it ;)**

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**

I'm so fucking good at making sandwiches. Effy doesn't know what she's talking about because I've never seen such an amazing ham sandwich and yesterday Emily seemed to like them. I didn't care how childish I sounded, it's my inner thoughts, I'll be as childish as I want. Yeah, suck on that Effy. I laughed to myself quietly before packing the sandwich into a small plastic bag and nodded, satisfied, as I placed it into a rucksack on the table. I started making the cheese sandwich which I, admittedly, was finding it harder. How the fuck do you use a grater? There's more of my thumb in the sandwich than the fucking cheddar.

"What are you doing?"

The grater flung out of my hand as I spun around. "Woah, woah! No sneaking up on me like that!"

Emily raised an eyebrow and laughed, "I wasn't sneaking up."

I picked up the grater and began preparing more of the cheese. "Sure whatever."

She laughed again. Her laugh was quite cute. It was always quite shy, even when it was just me and her. I didn't know if it was because she didn't feel comfortable with me, or she was always shy. She took a seat at the table and looked around. I supposed it was for a drink.

"Coffee?"

She looked up with a smile, "Yes please."

I nodded and put the kettle on, getting out the other necessary things. As I waited for the water to boil, I packed the last sandwich and placed it in the rucksack. I saw Emily watching me as I did this with a confused look.

"So what areyou doing?"

I grinned at her and poured the water into the mug, stirring in the coffee granules. I added milk and some sugar before placing it in front of her and taking the seat opposite of her at the table.

"I was making sandwiches for me and you."

I saw a smile appear on her face from just the mention of sandwiches or at least I supposed it was the sandwiches.

"What for?" She asked.

"Because we're going to take a walk, more of a hike really."

She cringed. "I don't hike..."

I laughed, "Something you and Katie share? Then again, it's only an assumption that Katie doesn't like hiking, y'know, being a princess and all."

She smiled a bit then shook her head. "I don't know, I just never enjoy them."

"Trust me, you'll enjoy it. I made us a picnic too."

I didn't understand why I tried so hard to make her smile or why I smiled when I accomplished it.

**

* * *

**

"Come on Ems, we're nearly at the top!" I shouted back at her as I saw the castle come to view at the top of the mountain we had taken to walking up.

"You said that 10 minutes ago!"

I laughed, "I'm not lying this time."

I heard a groan and checked on her. She had stopped and was catching her breath. "I can't fucking make it!"

She was too cute. I walked back to her and took her hand. "Come on, you can. It's nice at the top, I promise." Her hand was quite soft, but was getting sweaty. Still, her hands were softer than I expected. Then again, the people who tend to get there hands around mine aren't for these reasons nor under these circumstances.

"Look."

She looked up and it was then I saw a red tint on her cheeks. She must have been really out of breath. "Wow..." Was all she said. Her eyes widened and a smile appeared on her face as she saw the castle and then looked at the scenery.

It was amazing beautiful up at the top, with a clear view of the small town along with a longer distance view of amazing landmarks and rivers. I liked it up here and I felt great to have someone to share it wish. Whenever Effy comes up its just pubs after pubs. Not that I minded though. With Effy, that's exactly what I wanted to do. Effy was my saviour from boredom and was even a small distraction from my loneliness. With Emily, it's hard to explain. I wanted to show her places I liked, tell her about then, tell her about me. She made me _forget _I was lonely.

"Told you it was nice."

She nodded slowly, "You were right..."

I grinned at her. That's exactly the reaction I had hoped from her. "Care to eat now then?"

"I just want to look. It's so nice."

I laughed and left her to looking as I unpacked the food closer to the castle. I was glad no one came up this mountain. Somewhere like this was definitely better seen in the company of one person or at least I thought. I put the sandwiches out first and then the drinks. Emily was still looking out but finally turned around smiling.

"It really is beautiful."

I nodded. "I know."

"Thank you."

I looked up from my sandwich, "For what?"

"For bringing me here - to Ireland, to this mountain, everything."

God she was too cute. No one ever thanked people, no one I knew anyway. It was always a nod of appreciation or a pat on the back or a grin. "My pleasure," I smiled. I looked at her too long. I know I did.

She picked up the ham sandwich and took a bite from it. "Nice sandwich."

I laughed loudly and repeated what she'd said. It was obvious she didn't see why I found it funny but she smiled none the less.

Suddenly, her hand went to her pocket and she pulled out her phone. Her eyebrows raised and a half smile formed. "Wow."

"What?" I questioned.

"Katie just texted."

I rolled my eyes.

"No, no, she said for me to have fun."

No way. Katie? Katie as in Fitch? That's too fucking unbelievable. It was only the other day she was telling me to stay away from Emily. I take her up to Ireland and she's alright with it. "Really?"

Emily nodded, still amazed. "I can't believe that. Wonder what made her text me that."

I shrugged, "Who knows."

She took another bite from the sandwich and then looked around. I just looked at her. She had such brilliant red hair. How the fuck do you get hair that red and shiny? Wonder what shampoo she uses. Smells a bit like raspberry. Oh fuck. I remembered when Pandora took me and Effy to see some utter wank at the cinema once, some shit film - Twilight. I just sounded like the cunt from it. Still, there was no denying her hair was nice. It wasn't that I looked at her hair a lot - really - it was just sleeping in the same bed as her brought many moments to just stare.

"What are you looking at?"

I snapped out of my thoughts. "You," I said plainly. Fuck, think before you speak Naomi.

I watched as her cheeks burnt up.

"_Oh for fucks sake Naomi! Emily likes you, alright?"_

Did Emily actually like me? Or was that Katie just making shit up so I wouldn't be her friend? I know Katie tried hard to be my friend so I just assumed she was jealous and had made up that thing about Emily.

"Oh, why were you looking at me?"

I needed to be cautious of what I said next as I thought about what else Katie had said.

"_Don't lead her on, don't talk to her in fact. Just fucking _leave_ her alone."_

"Just was. So Emily, how are you?" Smooth subject change.

She shrugged and then averted her eyes to the sandwich in her hand then up at the sky. She looked sad. "I'm good."

I began to feel the rain drops on my skin. "Fuck rain," I mumbled, "Care to move to the castle?"

She nodded her head and picked up some of her stuff before heading towards the castle. I trailed behind, watching her. I felt like a hormonal teenage boy as I watched her walk ahead. I felt my own cheeks burn and a lump form in my throat. I quickly swallowed it and picked up my pace. Once we were in the cold castle, she turned to me and raised an eyebrow.

"You're cheeks are red, are you okay?"

"What?" I cleared my throat with an awkward cough, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. So you're good? Are you sure? You didn't seem convinced?"

She looked down at her feet before lowered herself to sitting on the floor. She could still see the view from the top of the mountain from where she was sitting and so she looked out to it. She didn't answer for a while so I joined her at the floor, sitting on the opposite side. I wanted her to tell me. I wanted to know what made her sad. I wanted to stop her being sad.

"I'm good, really," She said as she bit her lip.

I eyed her cautiously, waiting for a hint to something, anything. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," She snapped back suddenly. She surprised herself and stared at me, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," I said because, really, it was. "I just don't want you to be sad because of me. If you want to go home-"

"Oh, no!" She said quickly, "I don't want to! Really. I just-" She scrunched her eyebrows as she began to fiddle with her cardigan. "I just..." She trailed off. I knew she wasn't going to finish it.

"You just what? Has someone said something to you?" I thought back to the cunts at the club and scowled, "Have those girls said something?"

She looked up and shook her head. A small smile appeared on her face, but it wasn't a happy smile, I could see that.

"What?" I asked confused.

Suddenly she let out a sob. Why was she crying? "It's funny you know," She sobbed out.

"What is?" I asked quietly.

"You asking that. You acting like that."

I was still confused. "Like what?"

"Defensive," She clarified. "You, of all people, defending me, of all people."

"I don't get what you mean."

"Oh for fucks sake Naomi," She cried out. I bit my lip. "We're nothing alike and- and It's hard being around you! I'm finding this hard, sitting here with you."

That was what it was about? I laughed dryly, "What are you saying? That we shouldn't be friends or something?"

She looked down sadly, wiping away some stray tears, "I don't even see why we are."

"I thought you wanted us to be?"

She didn't say anything. Nothing was said. I hadn't felt this way in years. I hadn't felt the horrible feeling that everyone was leaving for almost 6 years and I hadt nearly gotten over it and here it was happening again. "Oh," I breathed out. "I'm sorry. I didn't know I was- I thought I was doing okay."

She looked up, surprised. "What?"

"At being a friend. I thought I was doing okay."

Emily burst into more tears shouting,"This isn't about us being friends!"

I shook my head, biting my lip, "What is it about then?" I shouted back. "You said it was hard being around me!"

"Because I like you!" She sobbed, "I fucking like you..."

Everything stopped. Katie had said it, I knew Emily had hinted it, but hearing her say it, hearing it like that, it hurt. She was crying it to me. I was hurting her. I had been hurting her for a while and I didn't even know. I tried everyday to make her smile but everyday she was sad _because of me_. "Oh," Was all I said and I realised I was only making it worse. Her face fell.

"Oh," She repeated with a sneer. She got up and walked out of the castle, leaving me to gather all the bags before chasing after her/

"Emily, stop going so fast for fucks sake!" She was going way too fast down the hill. It was muddy and dangerous now because of the rain but it was apparent that it wasn't bothering her, so long as she got far enough away from me - cue the wince and stomach pain.

She stormed ahead, not saying a word to me and not listening either.

"Emily, please," I pleaded, trying to catch up with her. "Just slow down," I mumbled to myself.

One second Emily was at my head level and the next she was on the floor. It wasn't a dramatic fall, sure, but it still caused me to feel a rise of panic. I quickened my pace and kneeled in front of her.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah." She began to push herself up but winced the second she was on her feet. I quickly wrapped my arm around her waist and supported her. "Urgh, my ankle."

"You don't seem it," I sighed. "I told you to slow down. I didn't bring any bandages or anything so we'll just have to try and get back to the cottage as quick as we can."

She nodded and pushed away from me, limping away.

"Emily, I'll help."

"No," She said flatly.

I scowled and walked to her and stood in front of her. "Stop acting like a twat. You're just going to get more hurt."

"I can't be any more hurt, I don't think."

I knew what she meant. "Another sprained ankle will definitely contirbute though," And so I placed my arms back around her waist, this time she lifted her arm and put it around my neck, supporting herself better.

"Sorry," She mumbled.

**

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**

"Emily, wake up..."

I nudged her slightly, but she remained where she was. I had brought her back and given her some strong painkillers which had, evidently, knocked her out. She fell asleep the second I put her down on the bed. "Come on Ems, wake up."

"5 minutes..."

"It's not even morning!"

For someone so small, she could pack a punch. I got a direct whack to the face from her fist and decided enough was enough. I began opening the windows in the bedroom, letting the rain hit her on the face.

"Urgh! What?"

I sat at the end of the bed and began putting on my shoes. I looked at her and grinned. "Morning. You weren't waking up so I took the liberty of doing it for you."

She sat up on her bed and groggily wiped her eyes. She didn't grin back. "Why did you wake me up?"

"We could go to the pub?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Listen to music?"

"My head hurts."

I licked my lips and nodded. "Okay." I got up and left the room. There was no point trying. I wanted to, but there was just no point. I ran a hand through my hair and lit a cigarette, finding my way outside despite the rain because really, it was the least of my worries. I sat out on the chairs, under the roofing of the kitchen just out of the rains horrible and cold reach. That didn't stop the wind blowing it into my face constantly though. It must have been at least 20 minutes until I got some company beside the rain.

"Hey," I said.

"Hi," She said back, biting her lip. She didn't say anything straight away, just lingered at the door. Finally she spoke. "I'm sorry about what I said. It's not your fault it's just really hard, being here, looking at you and not kissing you."

The lump appeared in my throat and my cheeks burnt up. "Want me to tell you something?"

She nodded, "Yeah..."

"I'm finding it really hard to not think about that now you mention it, but I know it isn't what you really want Emily. I'm not what you want."

Emily shook her head furiously, "You are, I know you are!"

"You've known me for like 2 weeks, how would you know?"

"It doesn't take any longer to know I like you."

I bit my lip, stubbed out my cigarette and stood up. "Let's put a bandage on your ankle."

I led her inside, walking to the cupboard. I couldn't think about it - didn't think about it. I told her, told her to simply go into the living room. Once I had the bandages, I took a deep breath and waited. I decided it was worth getting something cold and took a bag of peas - how cliché - out of the freezer. Finally, I walked to the living room and saw her sitting on the sofa. She looked sad, sadder than ever. I went around and went to her ankle, first placing the cushioned bit of the bandage over the swollen part. I saw her cringe from the corner of my eye, making me be much gentler. I wrapped it around and pulled lightly at the end before keeping it together with a few plasters. I placed a double folded clothe over her ankle before putting the pack of peas on top. I didn't say anything, neither did she.

"Thanks," She mumbled after a few minutes.

I nodded and took a deep breath, "It's fine."

I sat on the edge of the sofa, just beside her shoulders. She sat up slightly and watched me closely. She always watched me as if she were expecting something. We didn't speak, we just looked at each other. I was becoming painfully aware of how close we actually were and how much closer she had gotten to my face. I licked my lips and her eyes watched me do so. I didn't usually feel like this, not when I knew what was going to happen. I knew what this would lead to and I felt excited. She was watching me, carefully, cautiously and it wasn't until she closed her eyes that I felt safe to close my own and I've never had to feel _safe _to do that, I just do it. _What am I doing?_ And it wasn't until her lips were on mine that I realised exactly what I was doing.  
Her lips were soft, like her hands, and she wasn't forceful like the other people I kissed. She didn't force her way in, but she was eager, I could tell. She pushed forward, even propping herself up on her elbows and in turn, I leaned in closer. I asked for a deeper kiss with a push of my tongue to which she gave. I brushed my tongue against the top of her teeth and then slipped it past her teeth until what had started off as a shy kiss had become something I hadn't expected – not with Emily. I didn't stop though. It only got worse - better - whatever it was, it deepened and everything started to get a little heated and by the time I had pulled her shirt over her head, my own was off and Emily was on top of me, on the floor. Her hand trailed down my stomach, inching closer and closer but it was in that second that I decided, if this is going to happen, I'm going to me dominant. I pushed forward, still kissing furiously, taking the time to trail my kisses to her neck. I found her collarbone to be incredible sexy and a new favourite of mine and then I realised I was already choosing my favourite placed to kiss her. I turned her over so she was laying on her back. I pulled back and looked at her briefly before saying breathlessly, "I'm doing this work this time." She nodded and eagerly returned to my mouth. My hand moved down her waist before resting at her thighs, waiting, just waiting until it felt right.

_'Was it true that he had hard hands? Always pictured him hungry with a gun in his hand, dirty boots and a steel fr-' _Emily's phone rang from her pocket.

"Answer it," I said, pulling back.

She pulled me back roughly, "No, it can wait."

"It might be important."

Usually, the words that hurt the most are the ones meantto hurt or the ones intended to insult, but in this case, that simple sentence was enough to make her let go of me completely and pick herself up. The simple suggestion that what we were doing _wasn't _important. She did answer it. She left the room and left me sitting on the floor in just my jeans and bra. I licked my lips, still tasting her cherry lip balm. I bit my lip, attempting to stop the tears. I felt the blood of my lip trickling and I realised that I was a mess of blood, sweat and tears. I wasn't like this. I don't cry, not over things and not over people. I shouldn't be crying, not over someone so new in my life. I shouldn't be, but I was.


	12. Emily: Easy Leavings

I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight and my throat was sore from the sobs that continued to escape. I couldn't stop myself and it was making me feel like an idiot knowing that Naomi was in the living room smoking and laughing to herself. The thrill and joy that, moments before, I was feeling was just replaced by... this. Me sitting on the bed, using the pillow as a tissue, as a silencer for my sobs and nothing but sadness and anger. I bit my lip, wiped my eyes and decided I'd go and tell her exactly what she wanted to hear – I would leave. I stormed out the room but all my nerves shattered the second I heard the door slam behind me. I half staggered, on account of my ankle, and half crawled, on account of everything else, and finally opened the door to the living room to realise that she had beaten me to it. My shoes were still there, and my shirt it was only Naomi that was missing.

"I shouldn't have to ring her," I mumbled to myself. Naomi hadn't returned yet and it was already 7. Of course this isn't late, but to have left nearly 2 hours ago on your own and to actually leave someone in a cottage that _you _fucking own it total shit. I did it anyway – rang her that is – and waited patiently, letting it ring.

"_The person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this moment, please leave your message after the-"_

I shouted a chain of swear words before walking back to the bedroom. I swung my suitcase from under the bed and thanked myself inwardly for not unpacking completely; it made leaving a lot easier. I threw some of my stuff in it before shutting it and locking it. I pulled it out of the bedroom and out into the hall before putting my shoes on and pulling on my jacket. Tickets, I thought, wondering if it was any time return since Naomi had said we could stay for as long as we wanted. I went back into the bedroom, opened the bedside drawer and pulled out one of the two tickets.

"_Return flight to Bristol Airport, any time return within the dates listed on the back"_

I almost felt the need to thank Naomi, but I also felt the need to rip her ticket home. I put the ticket into my pocket and gave the cottage one last look around. It had such potential to be a nice place, but served nothing but anger. Fuck it, I mumbled before wiping away a tear and opening the door, leaving for good.

**

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**

"All passengers on the flight to Bristol airport please make your way to gate 5. The plane will be departing soon."

Where the fuck was gate 5? Why in fucking airports are gates placed like a maze? It can't just be gate 1 then gate 2 then gate 3, can it? Not it has to be- has to be- There was no point. No point playing this game I'd come up with – the think of everything but Naomi game. It didn't matter because I could have a rant about airports in my head, make as many stand up jokes as I could, thinking about the periodic table and make sentences from the elements and none of it would matter because my eyes would still water. The only thing that stopped me crying right now was the thought of Naomi returning to the empty cottage, but even then, I was somewhat sympathetic and even angry with myself for leaving her. I couldn't help it, I was Emily Fitch. I'd take consider it my fault for a squirrel falling out of a tree.

"Excuse me, do you need help?"

"What?" I said as I snapped out of my thoughts. I cleared my throat of its huskiness and repeated myself. "Sorry, what?"

The person in front of me smiled, "Do you need any help?"

"Where's gate 5?"

The girl looked up at and then pointed to a sign, "Just follow that arrow. You better hurry to make the Bristol flight though."

I mumbled a thank you and headed the way she had pointed, wiping away at my eyes and nose as I headed for the gate. Once I had gotten there, I noticed a lack of a line and worried that I would walk onto the plane to people glaring at me for being late.

"Uhm... Is this the flight to Bristol?"

The woman took my ticket and nodded. "Yes. Please make your way into the plane. You will be shown to your allocated seat by someone on board."

I hated the fact that I was about to get on a plane on my own without anyone to help me. Without Naomi's silly stories. Without Naomi at all.

**

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**

It was about 30 minutes into the flight that I stopped sobbing and now, an hour later waiting at the bus stop to go home, I still hadn't cried. I was somewhat proud of myself but knew it was a matter of time before it just started again. I began to play a brand new game, a rather cynical one, with myself; what would spark me to cry again. Katie would probably be the one if I didn't think of Naomi any time between now and getting home (which I highly doubted anyway). Anything I associated with Naomi was a sure bet to a tear. I shook my head. I need to stop with the stupid games.

A bus finally pulled up and I made my way on quickly, dragging my suitcase to the back with me. I never trusted those little places at the front for them. I would never notice if it got took, let alone actually be able to catch up with someone who had stolen it. I looked out of the window and saw the rain falling. It was comforting knowing I missed no nice whether in Bristol while I was in Ireland. It all seemed the same generally. It wasn't for another 10 minutes that I actually knew where I was on the bus though, having seen Trinity Park.

"Emily."

I looked up quickly and saw Effy standing in front of me. She took the seat beside me, making me pull my suitcase uncomfortably close to my legs.

"Hey," I said.

She raised an eyebrow, "Why isn't Naomi with you?"

I looked down and began fiddling with the lock on my suitcase. Embarrassment, anger, sadness, regret. It didn't matter what I said. "We had an argument. Sort of."

Effy eyed me cautiously, "Sort of?"

I bit my lip and looked at her for a second before returning my gaze to the lock. "Yeah. I mean. No, I mean yes." I stopped, feeling all energy draining from me. It was hard to articulate without saying exactly why. I half suspected the 'all-knowing' Effy to understand anyway.

It shocked me when she looked genuinely confused, "You don't even know why? What did Naomi say?"

"Nothing," I mumbled.

Effy raised an eyebrow and waited for me to tell her. I didn't want to, not really. I bit my lip and waited, seeing if I could last without saying anything.

"I kissed her. We kissed I mean. No, I kissed her," I fumbled out. Shit.

"Oh," Effy said, "I see. Well, why did you leave?"

"Because," I started before licking my lips, "She basically stopped it and told me to answer my phone."

"Harsh," Effy said with raised eyebrows.

"Then she left."

"She left?"

"I went to the bedroom, came back out, she was gone, waited 2 hours, she didn't come back, I left, got on a plane and here I am, on a bus, without Naomi."

Effy didn't say anything right away but finally said, to my confusion, "I'd take it as a good sign she left."

I scowled at her. "How? How could I possible take that as a good sign? For fucks sake, she doesn't want to be around me. She said a phone call would be more important than- than me!"

"Just think about it," Effy said with a shrug.

What did she mean? Something like that couldn't be a good sign. I shook my head, "Please just tell me," I begged.

She sighed, as if it were the easiest thing to solve. I needed to know how this was good. I needed to know and I knew I couldn't work it out myself. "Emily, just think about how you'd react if you _really _didn't care about something and then how you'd react if you _did _care."

She got up from her seat and made her way to the front of the bus, but not before giving me a smile and saying goodbye.

I began to think about what she had said, think to myself about how I would react but I couldn't work it out. I just couldn't.


	13. Naomi: It's Not That Simple

I put the key into the door and pushed it open with my shoulder. The mixture of coldness and pain from pushing the door open made me pause momentarily at the door, trying to steady myself.

"Shit," I mumbled as I placed the keys on the side.

I stumbled into the kitchen and became painfully aware of how, in the matter of hours I had gone, cold the entire place had become and how lonely it was. I knew it was my fault and for that, I hated myself. I hadn't meant it, hadn't meant for it to seem like I wanted it to stop, not entirely anyway. I needed time to think but I shouldn't have just left, I knew that.

"Emily?" I called out.

I got no answer, but checked the bedroom just in case. Her suitcase was gone and there was nothing left except for my own suitcase and a book on the bed. I ran a hand through my hair and breathed shakily. I always fuck it up. It didn't matter how many different ways I'd try and put it, I was, inevitably, lonely and I had nothing, no one, to save me from it. _You had Emily_. Had. This was my own thoughts so there was no point trying to fool myself. I did have Emily. She made me laugh and I actually liked being with her and what was more was the fact that I liked making _her _laugh and smile. Fuck, I actually liked it and I didn't know to what _extent_ I liked her but I _did_ like her and I've never liked someone.

**

* * *

**

I'd stayed in Ireland an extra 2 days after Emily left, but I was finally at the airport in Bristol now. I did a fucking poor job locking my suitcase apparently because I'd been sat in the same place for the past 30 minutes waiting while some fuckers ran about finding any items of my clothing. All I had left in there was a minimal amount of clothing, a couple packs of cigarettes and a hoodie. I pulled out the hoodie and pulled it over myself, leaving the hood up as I sulked, watching the lucky people of the world leaving the goddamn shitty airport.

"Cunts," I mumbled.

I decided to get myself comfortable, propping my legs across the seats beside me and pulling the hood further down my face until all light was blocked and I could close my eyes peacefully.

"Are you awake?"

What a fucking stupid question. "Yeah. What?" I pulled the hood down and sat up. The entire place was empty and it was already dark outside. I gave a small 'oh' before looking up at who had woke me up. I must have been asleep for some time.

"We decided to leave you while you slept, but it's actually 9:46, so we thought it was best to wake you. We looked all over for your belongings and we found a lot of it, but we think most of it may be back at Ireland."

I followed his quick glance beside me and noticed that my suitcase had been opened and filled slightly. I scrunched my face at how bare it was.

"Oh thanks," Sarcasm dripping.

The boy in front of me gave me a sympathetic look, "Sorry."

I ran my hand through my hair and nodded. I closed it and zipped it up, closing the lock properly this time and pulling the handle up. "Whatever. My fault I suppose."

I licked my lips and began walking away but he soon jogged up to me.

"Hey, do you want a ride home?"

I checked him, making sure he didn't look like a murderer of some sort. He seemed innocent enough so I agreed to it. He smiled and led me to his car. He got in his side first and unlocked the passenger door from the inside. He must be getting paid a lot. I was even sarcastic in my own mind, how sad.

"Sorry it's shit. I'm saving up for this fucking amazing car my friend is gonna sell me. It's like next to new and shit."

I glanced out the window and nodded. "Cool."

When I looked back he was smirking. "Not a car person I gather."

I shrugged, "Not a people person."

He glanced at me briefly then looked back to the road. He turned the radio on and began tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and mumbling out the song words. It was a funny sight. I laughed briefly before looking back out the window. I told him where I lived when he began looking at signs, then returned to listening to the music on the radio.

"So who did you go up to Ireland with?" He asked, pulling me away from the music.

"What makes you think I went with anyway?" I asked casually.

"People don't really go up to Ireland alone usually, that's all."

I looked at him and nodded. "I went with... someone."

He chuckled. "A friend? Boyfriend? Family member?" He asked, looking at me.

"A friend, I suppose."

He gave me a questioning look before asking yet another question. "You suppose?"

"Yes. I don't know. She's a friend I guess."

"You don't sound so sure about that," He said while changing the radio station.

"I am sure about it; it's just taking time getting used to it."

He gave a small noise of understanding. "I get it. Passed lover?" He smiled.

I shook my head, "No, no. She's not a... Just no."

He laughed, "Okay, so she's a friend then?"

"Yeah. Okay, she's my friend."

"So where is this friend?"

I looked out the window and muttered, "She left."

I didn't look to see his facial reaction but by the small 'oh', I assumed it was sympathetic. "Why did she leave, if you don't mind me asking?"

I sighed and leaned back into the car seat. "Because she was angry and I messed up and I don't know, okay?"

At first he seemed to show concern and then suddenly he grinned slyly, "I was wrong with _passed _lover..."

I snorted, "Whatever."

"Hot," He snickered, "Joking. What happened?"

I ran a hand through my hair, "I don't know," I said truthfully. "I just remember one thing leading to another and me saying something stupid and then me leaving without answering her calls and then her being gone."

"You didn't say you loved her did you?" He asked.

"What? No! I told her to answer her phone."

He took a harsh breath in, "Woo, harsh there."

"I know," I mumbled. "Actually, take a left here, I'm gonna go to someone else's for the night. Kerris Road."

"Your _friends_?" He asked with a smirk.

I shook my head, "No, another somewhat friend of mine."

He took the left and looked out for Effy's road before find it and turning up. "How far along?"

"Here's fine. Thanks for the lift," I smiled. "It was nice of you."

He grinned before getting a pen from the side of his door and scribbling something down onto an empty cigarette packet. "Here's my number. For friendship purposes only, of course. Hope you sort things out with this _friend_ of yours."

I took the piece of cardboard and nodded. "Me too." I got out with my suitcase in hand and gave a final wave before turning to Effy's house. I needed to see her and just forget the past few days, at least for a short while. I knocked on the door and waited patiently until the door swung open and I was greeted by Effy's mum.

"Oh hello Naomi. It's a bit late isn't it? Oh doesn't matter, I'm going out on a date you know. I'll see you later, you know where Effy is."

She passed me quickly before placing a kiss on my cheek. She was mental. I dragged the suitcase in before shutting the door behind me and making my way up the stairs into Effy's room. I saw her lying on the bed with her headphones on, apparently listening to music. I walked in quietly and sat on the end of the bed. She cracked an eye open, took the headphones off and sat up.

"When did you get back?" She asked.

"Few hours ago. I was stuck in the airport, they lost loads of my stuff."

"Shit," Was all she said while she put her headphones on her bedside table. "I saw Emily."

I bit my lip and looked at her, "You did?"

"So you kissed?" She asked.

I wasn't angry with Emily for telling Effy, more relieved actually. It meant less for me to tell. "Yeah."

"Then you left like a cunt."

"Her words or yours?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter, you left."

I nodded my head, she was right. "I needed to think."

"So you like her?"

I looked up at Effy and realised there was no point lying. I could lie to Emily herself, to my mum, to Cook or to Freddie but I couldn't lie to Effy. "Yes," I said. I took a deep breath and bit my lip. "I like her, yeah, but I can't just go straight into letting anything happen because... because-"

"Naomi, for fucks sake, you like her she likes you, why is it so hard?"

"Oh you're one to talk," I snapped back. "You like Freddie and he likes you back but you go off and fuck his best mate, so why is it so hard for you to stop?"

Effy stared at me for a while and although it was something that was unspoken between the two of us, I didn't regret saying it. As mean as I could be, even I could see Freddie was being hurt, so was Cook and more importantly so was Effy. She looked down and shook her head.

"It's not that simple."

"So why is it simple for me?" I asked softly. "Not everything is easy just because two people like each other and I thought you'd understand that."

"But Emily doesn't deserve it."

"Freddie doesn't either."

We didn't say anything to each other for a while, each of us thinking about what the other had said. She was right. I did like Emily and Emily did like me so I didn't see what the problem was. I looked at Effy and smiled.

"We're both a little shit with love, aren't we?" I chuckled.

She smirked, "Guess we are."

I sighed and lay down beside her on the bed. "I better go home."

Effy turned on her side and faced me, "Why?"

"I need to sort my head out properly, I think we both do. Do you have my spare keys? I'm not sure my own are even in my suitcase anymore," I sighed.

She got up and went to her desk, bringing back a set of keys. "It's been shit without you here," She said handing me the keys.

"Oh?" I asked, amused.

"Nothing fun to do. Just had to sit in and watch as my mum and dad argued, watch as my mum brought home cunts to fuck and, of course, eat cereal."

One of the things I liked about Effy and I was how both of us had this tough exterior but when we needed comfort, we didn't hesitate to go to each other. I got up from the bed and wrapped my arms around her. My height in comparison caused her head to find its way to the crook of my neck. She hugged me back before sighing.

"I do need to think."

"I know," I pulled back and went over to my suitcase. "Don't worry though; I'll be back tomorrow to catch up properly."

She smirked, "Good."

"See you tomorrow then," I gave a wave goodbye before going down the stairs and dragging my suitcase out the house. I gave her bedroom a glance and saw her standing at the window giving me the finger with a grin. I looked around in mock confusion and mouthed, 'me?' to her before giving her the V's. I began walking back and pulled out my phone that was still plastered with missed calls and unopened texts. I closed the phone and put it back in my pocket. I'd go and see Emily tomorrow, I had to. The suitcase was starting to annoy me, I even considered dumping it somewhere. Not like it had much in it, I thought with a scowl. Sure, it was my fault, but couldn't they check these sort of things? I didn't know my lock hadn't clicked down properly. I bet they did. I bet they just wanted me to cry. Cunts.

"Look who it is," Someone snickered from in front of me.

My head shot up and although it was dark, I could see about 4 people heading towards me. I had no idea who they were, but they must've been talking to me, what with the lack of anyone _but _me on the street.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't play dumb. I told you I would get you."

What had I done? Had this been another drunken fight I'd got myself into? How come whenever this happens I'm always the one to forget who the other person is. Just once I'd like to know exactly what had gone on in a fight. "No really, who are you?" I asked, feeling myself getting angry.

"Just acting tough in front of Emily were you?"

Then it clicked. "Oh," I chuckled, "You're those thick cunts from the club. Right okay, well you've shown off enough to your friends haven't you? I'm going home."

I stepped to the side and tried to go around her, but she stopped me, pushing me back with her shoulder. "Seriously, I wouldn't push it."

As soon as my brain started telling me this was serious and to abort all insults I had ready, my mouth did otherwise.

"Fuck off, yeah? I've got places to be. I don't need people like you lingering around me; people might start to think I actually hang around with brain dead twats like you."

I knew after the second I opened my mouth I should have stopped myself, but my pride got the better of me. It wasn't until I felt the punch to my right cheek that I decided, in future, my pride can go fuck itself. By instinct, my own hand balled into a fist and as quickly as she had managed, landed a hit to her face. I couldn't actually comprehend what exactly happened, all I remember was kneeling forward in pain from something hitting me in the stomach.

"Fuck," I breathed out.

"Not so fucking tough now, are you?"

Two hands grabbed at my jacket and with one pull, I was face to face with the girl from the club. I had left a mark, a bruise, a split lip, but she smirked and it was then that I realised I would be fighting a losing battle no matter how hard I'd try to fight back. It was from this realisation and her direct punch to my nose that I began to actual worry for myself. _Just keep your head down._ For the first time in a while, I listened to my brain straight away. The blood tricking from my nose to my mouth was the only thing distracting me. The taste of the red metal was something I could never get used to, not matter how many times I go into a fight or how many times cut my lip because each time I always got a little scared by the thought that I was tasting my own blood and although there are few things that scare me, the taste of my own blood and loneliness were the two that could make me cry for the rest of my life. I realised how ironic it all was that from protecting Emily I had gotten the blood and that from protecting myself I had gotten the loneliness. Under other circumstances, this would have earned a humourless laugh. These circumstances were different though, the pain told me that. Everywhere hurt, especially my stomach, that hurt more than anywhere else. It was a physical pain, of course, but also the knot in my stomach that had already began to form days before. I didn't like it. I didn't know what they had done to make it hurt so much. I cracked an eye open and saw the street lights and that was all. I'd wait; wait a few minutes before getting up. I need to go to Tesco, I thought. Maybe I'd make dinner for Emily, ask her round and sort everything out. Maybe I'd make a cake for Effy and Pandora and Emily and Katie and we could just watch movies because that'd be nice and I do like them, all of them. I sat up and leaned against the wall behind me. I ran a hand through my hair before propping my elbow on my knee and resting against my hand. I didn't like this – feeling light headed. Usually it was _good _but this was just fucking ridiculous. I should have turned back to Effy's but my rational thinking was twice fucked over so I started walking towards my house, keys in hand. I got to the door only a few minutes later and fumbled with the keys, attempting a few good times before I managed to get it in and shove the door open. I turned back to close the door and locked it before placing the keys beside the door. I didn't know what to do with myself. I walked into the living room and saw the sofa. Never had it looked so comfy. With the help of various standing objects, I managed to get across to it without falling over. I sat down on it before lowering my sides onto it and bringing my knees up to my chest. It took mere seconds for me to fall completely asleep.


	14. Emily: Medicine Mirror

"Of course. Of course I'd go and fucking leave my iPod with Naomi," I mumbled.

I had gone through my bag and suitcase twice over and had come to the conclusion it was with her. I knew I had to get it at some point, so I might as well get it now. She would be home wouldn't she? It's been 3 days so I could only assume she would be back.

"Katie, where does Naomi live?"

Katie looked up from the magazine she was reading and gave me a bewildered look. "Why would you want to go see that bitch?"

"I need to get my iPod," I muttered back. "What's her address?"

She eyed me cautiously, "Just text her to bring it here or wait for college."

I could easily text her to bring it, I knew that, but despite my anger and sadness, I wanted to see her. I knew it had something to do with what Effy had said because, even though I hadn't quite worked it out yet, I trusted her that it was a good sign – whatever it was. I glanced around my room and picked up my phone, taking notice of the lack of messages or calls from Naomi and then going to my contacts. I'd ring Effy.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, what's Naomi's address? I need to go get something."

"_Lives off Tuebrook, it's a road called Mayville road. Number 32. Hope you two kiss and make up."_

She hung up before I could say anything. I blushed slightly at what she had said. I couldn't help but hoped that happened. I mean the make up bit. Not the... well yeah sure the kiss but I mean- Oh never mind.

"I'll see you later," I said to Katie quickly before grabbing my coat. I heard her shouting after me but I just ignored her and ran out of the house. I knew Tuebrook was relatively close, meaning I could walk. Each step I took I got more and more painfully aware that I was walking to Naomi's to get my iPod. I didn't even know if she was in for fucks sake. What was I going to do once I was there? Just ask for it and leave? Maybe suggest we talk about it, go somewhere for a drink? I didn't know. I looked around and saw the sign for Tuebrook and began walking along it, checking for 'Mayville'.

"Brooker Road... Greenhill Road... Mayville," I confirmed with a nod.

I turned up it and checked the numbers on the houses. Why didn't I just text her? Oh jesus. I stood in front of the house for a good few minutes before realising she could easily be watching me and thinking I was some sort of weird stalker. I hurriedly went up to the door and knocked. I wasn't sure if it was my anger that was making the wait seem longer, or she was generally taking her time answering the door. That, or she wasn't in at all.

"Come on," I mumbled to myself.

I knocked again and stood back from the door, waiting. I began to hear movement, but she still didn't go to the door. So not only had she ignored my texts and calls in Ireland, she'd also taken to ignoring me right while I was stood outside in the fucking cold. Great. I gave the door one final knock. I saw her moving towards the door through the glass and waited for it to open.

"I'm not here to talk, just to- F-fuck," was all I could manage as I stared at her face. I gulped as I thought of what to say. Her face, the blood, the bruises, it was too much to take in.

She looked at me and smiled despite it, "Emily."

"Naomi what the fuck happened?" I stepped inside the house and closed the door. I bit my lip as I looked at her.

"Nothing," She said and eagerly asked, "What are you doing here?"

I shook my head, "It doesn't matter, what happened?"

"I was just mugged," She said quietly after a long pause.

"_Just _mugged?" I shouted, "For fucks sake Naomi, you're bleeding and bruised. Have you called the police?" I pushed passed her and picked up the phone that was by the door. I started hitting in 999 but only get 2 digits in before her hand was on mine.

"Don't. Just forget it."

I shook my head and turned to face her. She looked tired and desperate. "You can't just forget it. You need to... to tell someone..."

"You're someone."

Before I could say anything, she stalked off someone, leaving me in the hallway. She returned a couple minutes later with a glass of water. Naomi put her hands to her head and backed away until she was sitting on her stairs.

I started to panic and pushed her shoulders back so she was sat upright. "Are you okay? Naomi? Come on, talk to me for fucks sake."

She nodded, "Yeah yeah I'm fine. I just need to get cleaned up and shit."

I put my hands around her and pulled her up. "Come on then." I felt her put all her weight on me, meaning I was half carrying her up the stairs. I didn't know whether she was taking advantage or genuinely was finding difficulty in staying upright. The fact she was still able to carry to glass of water told me it was a bit of a combination. She began mumbling something I couldn't quite understand.

"What did you say?"

She shook her head and muttered something about my ears. I decided finding the bathroom was more important than hearing about my ears. I could see what looked like a bathroom just ahead of me. I got a better grip on her before using my foot to kick the door open, quickly putting the toilet lid down and seating Naomi on it. She was making this difficult, flopping lazily forward. _I doubt she's being lazy,_ I had to tell myself.

"Naomi?"

She mumbled again but sat up right. I began running the tap. I went into the small cupboard behind me, hoping to find towels, which I did. I pulled out 3 and took the smallest. I tested the water, checking it was hot, and then put the plug in. I dabbed the towel in and got a few centimetres from Naomi's face before being pushed back.

"Woah, woah, that's way too fucking hot!"

I followed Naomi's eyes to the sink with hot water that was even steaming. I sighed and drained it slightly before replacing some of the hot water with cold water.

"Amazing how you can still be picky."

I dabbed the towel again before placing it, first of all, to her chin. I watched as she winced before completely closing her eyes. She kept taking deep breathes in and out, making me nervous.

"Are you okay?" I asked, still wiping away the blood.

"I-" She stopped short then opened her eyes. "I could do with a couple paracetamols."

I nodded, "Where are they?"

She pointed to the mirror.

"You actually have one of those hidden medicine cabinets behind the mirror?" I tried to give a little chuckle, but it came out too dry. I went over and saw the paracetamol, taking two out before handing them to her. She put them in her mouth before swallowing them down with the water.

"What happened?" I asked again, continuing my efforts to clean her face of all blood.

She looked to me and licked her lips. "I was mugged, I said before."

"Now tell me what really happened.

"I told you. I was mugged," She mumbled looking down at her hands. "Why can't you just believe me?"

Something told me she wasn't telling me the truth. I didn't know what it was, but I wasn't completely convinced. "I don't think you were," I pressed on. "I just don't think you were mugged."

"Well I was," She snapped back.

Before I could say anything, a sound came from her jean pockets. She quickly pulled her phone out, checked it and then placed it on the floor beside her feet.

She hadn't quite caught onto the giveaway. "Muggers that didn't take your phone?" When she didn't say anything, I did. "Muggers that, not only didn't take anything, actually beat you up? Naomi I don't know why you aren't telling me the truth but at least stop lying."

She looked up from her hands and looked directly at me. She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but shut it instantly after. I got the dried blood from around her nose before actually inspecting it. "It just looks bruised, not broken or anything. Do you want some ice?"

She shook her head. I moved on to the cut which only had a bit of blood. I wiped it and then inspected it. "It looks a lot like a nail scratch." I hadn't fully intended to say that aloud, but I did. It didn't seem like a mugger to use their nails. Maybe that's because my thought of a mugger is a big strong man. A man in general. Not a nail wielding girl.

"Stop with the fucking Sherlock Holmes shit," She groaned.

I stopped cleaning and just looked at her. She didn't look back, but I knew she was aware I was looking at her. She blinked a few times and began fiddling with her top. I felt horrible and sick. I was become painfully aware of how vulnerable Naomi was right now.

"Sorry," I mumbled back.

I checked her face over, placing my hand on her chin to move her head so I could check both sides. It seemed cleared of all blood with just the bruises remaining.

"Did they only get your face?"

Naomi bit her lip and remained silent.

"Naomi?"

She didn't say anything but I watched as her hand pulled her shirt down protectively.

I put my hand over her and gripped her shirt. She didn't look at me but her hand relaxed. I put my other hand on the other side and although she moved as if to push me away, she allowed me to pull at her shirt. I pulled it slowly, never taking my eyes off her face until it was over her head. I knew that if the same thing were happening under other circumstances I would be thrilled, but right now I couldn't. I looked down and saw the bruises around her ribs. I couldn't help but take a harsh breath in and feel my eyes sting.

"Naomi..." I trailed off.

She sighed and rummaged into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette. She lit it and ran her hands through her hair. I placed my hand over hers and licked my lips, begging her to just look at me. I watched as she took another drink of the water.

She finally did look at me, her eyes glistening. Was she crying? No. I couldn't see Naomi cry. It made it hard. Hard to be angry about everything, hard to not want to just hug her, hard to not just kiss her.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything I did and for having to do this and it fucking hurts. It hurts, everything hurts," She sobbed. "When you left me in Ireland it hurt and now everything hurts but it's not even the punches or kicks that makes me hurt, it's you! That day you ignored me in the pub, it hurt then and I wasn't even sure if I liked you then and it hurts right now looking at you and- and-"

I felt my own tears falling and I quickly went forward and wrapped my arms around her. "It's okay Naomi," I choked out.

"No it's not," She cried out again. "I really do like you, I do. I like you like you like me and I want us to be okay but I'm so utterly shit with everyone and everything and," She pulled back before finishing and took a deep breath, calming herself and stopping all sobs and tears. "And if I'm hurting you like it's hurting me then I'm so, so sorry because-"

"Naomi," I said. I stared at her before leaning in, kissing her cheek, trailing along her jaw until I got to her mouth. I kissed it quickly first, drawing back to check her reaction. She was looking at me, scanning my lips and eyes. It surprised me when she was the one to lean back into it. It started slow, careful even, and only began to deepen once Naomi stood up. She pushed me into the wall behind and placed her hands on the wall, either side of my waist. I put my own hands to her hips and let the kiss get deeper. It was only when I felt her tongue brush against my teeth that I opened my mouth fully, pressing forward as she pressed back. Her tongue massaged against my own, taking moments to give soft kissing to my lips. We moved together. Her hands moved to my hair and my hands slipped to her stomach. I was lost. I was confused, I was dazed, I was fucking thrilled. I felt her hand on my shirt and she pulled it up with one quick motion. We continued to kiss until Naomi pulled back. She didn't lean back in this time. She just stood there.

I shook my head, "Don't do this again."

"No..." She said slowly, "No it's not... not that .. I-" She put her hand on the door leant against it. "I need to lie down," She breathed.

"Are you okay?" Panic washed away all joy. "Naomi?"

"I'm fine," She said, lowering herself to the floor and leaning against the side of the bath. "Can we just sit, sit and talk? Not that I don't like kissing you," She smirked, "It's just getting a little too heated for my head."

I nodded, "Let's just talk then."


	15. Everyone: Just Try

**FYI, by 'everyone' I just mean it's in general POV, it actually doesn't feature everyone hehe**

* * *

And they did talk. Naomi listened to everything Emily had to say, even when Naomi didn't like hearing it, even when it made her cringe, she still listened. Emily did the same, listened to Naomi's reasons and listened even when she wanted to shout how wrong Naomi was but they had both promised to listen. It was when Naomi bit her lip and ran her hands through her hair, scattering her fringe into pieces before amending it with a tuck behind her ear, that Emily adjusted herself, sitting up slightly as she leant against the door of the bathroom, and licked her lips.

"I thought you'd forget me. I thought the second I started acting like a twat on the first day we met," Naomi licked her lips, "I thought that'd be it. I thought that when we were at the pub that time, I thought that, that was definitely the moment you were going to forget me and give up. When you left in Ireland, I didn't think you'd forget me or even give up on me, I actually thought you were leaving me and it was-" She bit her lip and closed her eyes, "It hurt. I hated you for it, hated that you made me feel that way."

Emily looked at Naomi, guilt ridden and sad. She bit her cheek and shook her head, "I didn't mean to... I'm sorry-"

"No," Naomi laughed, "No, you don't see. I stopped myself feeling stuff like that." She paused momentarily, contemplating and waiting. "I haven't actually let anyone leave me in years because I've never let anyone get close to me."

"Why?" Emily whispered.

"Because it hurts too much, don't you think?" Naomi asked, looking at Emily in confusion.

"But doesn't it hurt being alone?"

Naomi winced slightly, biting her lip as she looked at her hands. "Yes," Was all she said before falling into silence.

Emily didn't say anything, just looked at the girl in front of her. She reached forward, almost by instinct, and tucked a strand of blonde hair away from the girl's rosy and bruised cheeks. "You're not alone now, are you?" She asked.

"No," Naomi said. She finally looked up at Emily who was, by now, mere inches from her face. She briefly looked away before deciding it was time to stop running. "I don't feel alone." Naomi lifted her hands and gripped onto Emily's shoulders, leaning closer. She didn't do anything, just looked into Emily's eyes and smiled. "I need sleep, will you stay with me?"

Emily nodded, smiled and got up, helping Naomi up and then helping her get to her bedroom. Naomi lay on the bed and sighed happily once she was comfortably on the bed. Emily lingered by the door, just watching Naomi.

"Come on," Naomi said.

She didn't question it or hesitate; she just crawled in to the bed. Naomi turned on her side and Emily did the same, faces only a couple centimetres away and both feeling the others breathe on their face. Emily reached up tentatively and, lightly holding Naomi's chin, began running her thumb over her jaw and lips. She felt the bumps and cuts under her touch. Checking that she wasn't hurting her, she moved to the cut beside her eyes and sighed.

"Doesn't it hurt?"

Naomi shook her head, "Not anymore. Is it okay if I go to sleep for a bit?"

Emily nodded, wondered why she asked, then smiled because she asked. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

Naomi leaned forward and placed a kissed on Emily's lips before mumbling a good night, and so began the wait for Naomi to wake up. Though if Emily were completely honest with herself, she'd contently lie beside Naomi for hours on end just watching as the blonde mumbled and sighed in her sleep.

* * *

It was nearly 10 before Naomi woke up, rubbing her eyes before focussing her eyes on the sleeping person in front of her. She smiled to herself and lifted her hand from the girl's waist – momentarily wondering how it got there, then realising she didn't care _why_.

"Emily?" She prodded the red head, smiling, amused by Emily's efforts to knock her away, reminding her of Ireland but better, much better. "Emily, it's nearly 10, do you need to be home?"

An eye was cracked open, "I'm not a fucking 10 year old," Emily smirked.

"I know it's just it's getting dark, I just didn't know if you'd want waking up."

"I did. Gives me more time to actually look at you. Dream you is quite pretty, but the real thing is much better."

Naomi laughed, "How romantic of you!" It was funny to hear, but lovely to feel. "Are you sp- Wait, let me just get this." Naomi turned over and quickly answered her phone. "Hello?"

"You said you'd see me today," Effy said on the other end.

Naomi ran a hand through her hair, "Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot." She honestly did.

"Did Emily get to yours?"

With a cautious look to Emily she nodded despite Effy being on the phone, "Yes, how did you know she was here?"

"She's still there?" Naomi could hear the smirk. "I gave her your address, she asked for it."

Naomi smiled, "Oh right. Well yeah, she's here now." She gave a sideways glance at Emily who had sat up by now and was watching Naomi eagerly, wanting to know what was being said and asked.

"Well bring her with you."

"Bring her with me to where?"

"You're still coming out with me and the others."

Naomi briefly considered, and then thought of a few reasons to not go. Not only would she be questioned on what happened to her, she would also risk valuable alone time with Emily because even though feelings like this were near enough new to her, she knew she wanted to be with Emily.

"What is she's saying?" Emily asked from beside her.

Naomi turned to Emily, covered the bottom of the phone and said, "Effy wants us to go out tonight."

Emily bit her lip, "Oh."

"I don't want to go either," Naomi sighed causing Emily to smile. Naomi removed her hand from the phone, "I don't think me and Emily are going to come."

"Naomi, you said you would. You and Emily have another week off from college to fuck, just come out."

Naomi blushed and cleared her throat before turning to Emily, "She insists."

Emily sighed, "Fine."

"We'll get ready now," Naomi said before hanging up. "Sorry," She said to Emily. "I really did just want to stay in with you. You can come back to mine tonight though?"

Emily nodded happily, "Okay."

And although both of them would have preferred a night in together, just talking and laughing and (never said aloud to the other) kissing, they couldn't deny that the second they stepped out the house and their hands held together, and fingers intertwined instantly, they knew it was going to be a good night.

"Are you going to ask?"

"Ask what?"

"Ask."

"Oh, uhm, will you, uh, shit I feel like an idiot. I don't know if I can!"

"Just try."

"Jesus, will you be my girlfriend?"

"No."

"What?!"

"Yes, of course I will Naomi."

* * *

**The eeeeeend~**

**Hope you enjoyed, and sorry for awfully boring last chapter. I just didn't want end on something too big, y'know, end simply and all that? Anyways. There you have it. **


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